Ever wonder why you and your girlfriend seem to fight about the same things all the time? Why is it that couples tend to always suffer from the same set of relationship problems? Here is a list of some of the most common problems that couples have. Read them over and you will realize that you are not alone!
Fighting about money is easily one of the top problems that couples encounter. When two people who have different money-management styles come together in a relationship, it’s no wonder that they may start to fight about finances. Often, one partner will spend money loosely without keeping track of it, while the other is an expert bookkeeper who likes to hang onto receipts for years.
In order to settle those money fights, you should sit down and calmly discuss the situation. Does one of you make more money than the other? Is this causing a power struggle? Do you have joint or separate accounts? You can keep separate accounts and open a joint account for joint expenses and savings. This may help alleviate some of the stress of dealing with joint finances.
Worrying that your partner is cheating or has been cheating on you is another one of the greatest problems that couples face. Insecurity and dis-trustfulness can result in accusations and this can ruin a relationship. Even if you are certain that your partner has had an affair, you don’t have to assume your relationship is a write-off. There are usually root causes of infidelity, so if you are able to move beyond the first feelings of anger, hurt and hatred, then you may be able to sit down with each other and discuss the causes of this common relationship problem.
Family can always cause problems, whether they mean to or not. If you are in a relationship with someone who has been divorced, for example, you will likely have to deal with their ex-spouse and children. This can cause stress on a relationship, and may always be a sore spot that causes arguments between you and your partner. When you want time alone with your partner, for instance, it may be their weekend to have the kids over. Before you get involved in such a relationship, be sure that you are okay with the situation.
Annoying family members, such as overprotective mothers and meddlesome siblings can also get in the way of your relationship. For example, maybe you are a “mama’s boy” and your girlfriend feels like she is second best, after your mother. This will inevitably cause fights as you hold the balance of power between your mother and your girlfriend.
Each of you probably has one or two friends that the other cannot stand being around. Perhaps one of your buddies is a notorious womanizer and only talks about getting laid. Your girlfriend may see this as a threat to your relationship because she may think that your friend will influence you to stray. Such a situation is a common source of anger and resentment among couples.
What is missing in this type of relationship is trust. You still want to be able to hang out with your friends, even the ones she doesn’t like, but you don’t want her to be mad for days afterward. Before you see your friend, take time to talk to your partner about the situation. If you diffuse it before it gets out of hand, the better off you both will be.
Sex may be the single most common cause of relationship problems among men and women. Usually, men are said to have a greater sex drive meaning they want to have sex more often than their partners. You may pressure her to have sex more often than she wants to, and if she doesn’t give in, she may feel guilt and resentment. She will wonder if you are going to look for sex elsewhere if she doesn’t supply it, but she will also worry that you only see her as a sex object and not a life partner.
Before you guilt your girlfriend into a quickie, consider the reasons she doesn’t want to have sex as often as you do. Perhaps she isn’t having orgasms when you have sex or maybe she feels insecure about her naked body. If you take the time to talk to her about it, you may realize that many of her feelings of insecurity can be addressed quite easily, and this will improve your sex life in the long run.
6. Time Together and Apart
Spending time together and apart are two interconnected problems that can cause irreparable damage to any relationship. On the one hand, it is easy to neglect each other—work, family commitments and other activities can cause you to have less and less quality time together. Compared to when you first started dating, couples that have been together for a while may find that they spend less time together than they ever had before. Finding time for each other is a simple solution to this problem—when the kids are in bed, stay up, order a pizza and eat it together in bed while you catch up with each other. Conversely, spending too much time together can also cause problems because it can stifle your personal growth. Remember that it’s good to spend time apart with friends or alone.
If you find yourself fighting over the same things all the time, sit down and think about finding real solutions to these problems. Let’s face it—you and your girlfriend may never agree on the best money management style or the most effective way to deal with annoying family members, but being able to work beyond those problems is the important part.
Don’t fall into the same trap of fighting each time the topic arises; instead, work on your communication and problem-solving skills so that a common relationship problem doesn’t mean the end of your relationship.