Has anyone ever accused you of acting like a woman? More importantly, has a woman ever accused of acting like a woman? Men walk a fine line between being “in touch with their emotions” and being a “girly man”. Girly men are further at risk for being characterized at sucks, wimps, pansies or even worse – homos! Regardless of these stereotypes, women are turned on by men who are able to manage and communicate their emotions. However, becoming too attuned to your sensitivities may make you over-sensitive, and this is a major turn off.
Everyone has personal insecurities. Some people believe that women are more prone to being overly sensitive than men, but this is not always the case. Women are generally more apt to talk and share their feelings about themselves, while men are programmed to keep them inside. As you become more comfortable in a relationship, chances are you will share some of your feelings of inadequacy – which often helps to overcome them. But if you are open about all of your insecurities, the tables may turn the other way. Most women like to believe that men are strong and in control of themselves, so be careful how in touch you become with your sensitive self.
Sensitive men are more vulnerable, emotional and moody than other men. They find it difficult to put on the air of Mr. Macho when they feel insecure or inadequate about themselves, whether it be in their personality, career success or lifestyle choices. Women are typically characterized as being more insecure about their bodies, but men can be equally as sensitive about their physical insecurities. Baldness, love handles, flab, and the size or shape of their private members are the most common sensitive areas of men’s egos. However, sensitivities are unique to every person and can pertain to a variety of other issues as well.
Traditional notions of masculinity – that men are more dominant and successful in the world – are becoming harder and harder to uphold. As a result, men have to ask themselves some very important questions about the women they date. Are you comfortable admiring the hot body of your woman, if you feel major insecurities about your own body? Are you comfortable with a woman who has a higher status position or a higher paying job? If a woman has a sharp sense of humor, or even a bit of a mean streak, will you be able to handle jokes and comments made at your expense?
If you answered no, or are unsure about how to answer these questions, you are at risk for becoming overly sensitive. So what can you do to manage your sensitive self and avoid becoming a girly man? If you fear that you may be becoming overly sensitive in your relationship with a woman, consider the following advice for male sensitivity management.
Do try to be a good listener. Don’t fly off the handle when she accuses of not being one. Despite any efforts that you make, this will inevitably happen at some point in your relationship.
Do try to be a nice guy sometimes – make an effort to open the door, surprise her with a visit or a gift, or send her a sweet email or love letter. Don’t complain if you think she doesn’t appreciate your efforts. The problem is that she likely expects you to be thoughtful and courteous, and thinks she deserves your nice guy initiatives. This is an uphill battle from the start…
Do provide positive feedback on her sexy lingerie, new jeans, or haircut. Don’t expect her to be as considerate towards you. Women believe that they hold the upper hand when it comes to style and fashion. Your girlfriend will likely not be satisfied with your wardrobe or appearance until she has had input into every garment you own, and hand-picked your hairdresser at a salon stocked with average looking stylists.
Do express your feelings for her when you feel that the time is right. Don’t mope around for days if she does not immediately respond to the gesture.
Do treat her girlfriends and your potential mother-in-law with the utmost respect. Don’t expect her not to flirt with all of your friends and laugh when it makes you jealous and insecure…
These rules should help to prepare you for some of the sensitivity issues that you may face in your relationship with a woman. Generally, women expect men to be the more even-minded, rational, and protective member of the relationship. If you can respond to her expectations in these departments, you will be home free. It doesn’t hurt to act suave, cool, macho and in control once in a while as well, even if it’s only when your drinking buddies come for a visit. Also, never stop standing up for yourself – no matter how hard she pushes, no woman wants to be with a man who is a pushover.
The issue of over sensitivity becomes a serious problem when a woman purposely intends to offend your insecurities. Be warned that some women will seek out your emotional buttons. These women think that by controlling your sensitivities, they will have more control over their own – not to mention the relationship. They could not be more wrong. If you attune your emotions too much to her expectations, you will definitely become overly sensitive and unhappy with yourself and your partner. Trust your emotions, and manage your sensitive self through self reflection. If you know yourself and are aware of your weak points, you will be able to manage your reactions to her.
Be open with what your comfort level allows at any given time in the relationship. Don’t be afraid to express emotion, listen to the occasional love song, or enjoy a nice long candlelit bath. In women’s circles, sensitive men have a reputation for being very good in bed, so run with it! The right woman will respect you for it in the end, and you will have avoided the dreaded reputation of the girly man…