From Best Friends to Best Lovers

friend-lover

How do friends become lovers? Does it ever come together at a New Year’s Eve Party, like in the film When Harry Met Sally? How do you go about making your best friend your best lover? Unfortunately, there aren’t any magic solutions like a love potion that will make your sexy friend fall madly in love with you. But with a little effort and some well-developed romantic skills, you might get her to notice you as more than just a great guy to hang around with.

It is important, in situations where friends might become lovers, to let her know that you are interested in subtle and non-controlling ways. If the two of you have known each other for a long time, chances are she’s turned to you for advice on more than one occasion. Just because you want to become more than just a friend, doesn’t mean you can give up your role as her friend.

Many couples tend to doubt that they will remain friends if they become intimate with each other. This is a valid thing to worry about. Things may not work out and you could risk losing your best friend. So it is important to know if this is more than just a lustful feeling you are having after seeing her in a string bikini. Will becoming lovers be even more rewarding for both of you than remaining friends?

When it doesn’t work out…

Friends of mine went through this same situation. He was madly in love with her and she was completely unaware of his affections—or, if you are cynical, she was probably completely aware of his feelings for her, but pretended not to notice, since it was a fun and flirtatious game to play.

The problem with this couple was that they were friends since they were children and had grown up together as friends. All of a sudden, his best friend was this hot girl whom other guys were dying to get together with. Yet, to her, he was still just an excellent friend and not lover material.

Look for signs…

There’s always a chance of something like this happening, so it is wise to think before acting on your feelings. There are probably lots of little signs that she is giving off to let you know whether or not she is interested in you as a lover.

Maybe you start to notice that she seems a little more nervous than normal around you. She’s not clowning around as much and when you touch, it is only by accident and not the general touch of two old friends.

Pay attention to what other people sense when they see you together as well. Do they think you are brother and sister or boyfriend and girlfriend? The way you act in public might lend you some insight into what the two of you actually mean to each other.

If there’s someone else in the picture, things tend to get a little tricky…

Chances are, if you are really just friends, you don’t get jealous when you or her dates other people. And if you are both mature adults capable of normal, loving relationships, there’s a pretty good chance that you have both had other relationships.

Let’s say she’s been dating another guy for a couple of years, yet she always makes time for you, and when the two of you are together, her actions seem to suggest that she’s not happy in her current relationship. This puts you in a tricky position. Do you tell her you love her and hope she feels the same, or do you risk backlash from her, if she sees you as a jealous friend/brother figure trying to interfere in her life?

Different ways to let her know you are interested…

So, let’s pretend for a moment that you’re telling your best friend that you are madly in love with her and want to take your relationship “to the next level.” This is probably going to come as a big surprise to her. Because of this distinct possibility, it is important to think through your game plan. Whatever you do, don’t have the people from The Jerry Springer Show call her up to tell her that someone in her life is in love with her. Public confessions like that are just tacky and embarrassing for everyone involved.

Rather than involving you and her in some bizarre plot, just try to spend more time with her. Involve yourself in her interests. Take note of things she likes and then remember those things for special occasions. If you surprise her with a necklace she pointed out 6 months prior, she will probably take notice of you a little more and perhaps see you in a different light.

However, don’t act like a lovesick puppy dog waiting for her to notice you. Some women, I hate to admit, like to play games. If this is the case, the less attention you pay to her, the more interested she might become. But don’t act like a jerk. This just means that every time she calls you to do something, you don’t need to make yourself available. Let her think you are out wooing the ladies and when she realizes that she’s a bit jealous, it will slowly dawn on her that you are the man she wants and needs.

After all, sometimes it works out…

Just to end on a happy note, two other friends of mine managed to evolve from being good friends to great lovers. It was a slow process, but neither acted like a needy or controlling person and the relationship slowly changed, the more time they spent alone together.

And when in doubt, go out for a nice dinner and add a bottle of wine to the mixture just to make things flow more smoothly. This could be the relationship you’ve both been waiting for.

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