Bondage: To Tie Or Not To Tie?

Published on Author GG RayLeave a comment

Bondage

It all starts off innocently enough – a guy just wants to tie his girlfriend to the bed. Maybe she is into it, maybe not – but those first few ropes tied to the mattress are the baby steps into the exciting world of bondage. Some might get horrified at the concept, but when it is done right, bondage can be a very erotic experience.

For the person in control, the thrill of having a submissive willing partner can be fantastic. For the person tied, cuffed, or roped to the bed – the thrill and fear come from surrendering control and allowing another person to decide your fate. So if your curiosity is just a tiny bit tweaked, keep reading and get ready to rope in some sexy fun.

What Should I Do First?

The first thing you should do is find yourself a willing partner, since tying yourself up loses its enormous appeal once you realize you can’t reach the handcuff key. Once you have a partner in place there are two ways to work it: surprise or advance planning. Now both methods have their merits, so don’t just discount one for the other based on your gut instinct. If you decide to surprise her, keep in mind that she knows it is you. It’s not like you just brought this girl home from the club and immediately cuffed her to your brass bed.

This is someone who knows you well, so if you spring a surprise on her she will be excited and intrigued, not scared. And if you need more incentive, surprising her with this idea gives her no option to back out. If you are planning things out, then you need to make sure she doesn’t say no!

The main reason couples don’t talk about sex is that they are afraid they will either offend or scare off their partner. So if you have that kind of relationship, introduce the idea slowly – one way of doing this is to offer to go first. Once she sees how much fun she can have pleasuring and teasing you, she will just have to try it out for herself.

Cuffs Or Rope?

Once you have set the stage for your first time to try the tie, you then need to decide what to tie with. Depending on the quality of your bed, you might want to be wary of using metal cuffs on a metal frame. Plus, for a first timer, handcuffs might be the equivalent of buying a foot long dildo as your girlfriend’s first sex toy.

Rope can be problematic as well, since it tends to burn – which can be a turn on, but might be a turn off. So that leaves you with a few common household items that will work just fine – like silk ties or scarves. They feel good on the skin, and they won’t cut into your flesh.

What you need to do is immobilize your partner, which can be done either by tying her to all four corners, or by tying her hands above her head, and then her legs to either side. For extra fun, you could use a gag and/or blindfold, but that might be a little too much if she is just trying this out.

I’ve Tied Her Up, Now What?

Okay. You worked your magic, got her in the bed, and now she is ready willing and bound. There are lots of ways you can play it from here. It all depends on just how kinky you want things to get.

Torture – we are not endorsing ‘real’ torture, but there are lots of ways you can draw out pleasure so that it feels like good torture. For example, bringing her to the brink of orgasm and then stopping. Or maybe you want to use ice and hot wax to drip and dab on certain parts of her body. Anything goes, because she can’t fight back!

Pleasure – a lot of women out there may not realize just how many orgasms they can have in one setting. So why not take her to pleasure overload until she begs you to stop. Remember – she can’t pull away if you tie those knots good and tight.

Pain – a small amount of pain can go a long way, and you don’t have to seriously injure anyone in the process. Spanking, a tiny whip, hot wax, pinching, etc. Be creative, and make her beg you to stop…or beg you for more. I guess you’ll have to wait and see what will happen.

Freedom – another turn-on is for you or your partner to have the ability to break free during the bondage. This can be achieved using paper or loosely tied knots. That way your partner has the option to end the game if she is gets nervous, which will only build trust between you for further escapades.

Location

The bed can be a lot of fun, but don’t rule out other locales for your sex games. A closet, a towel rack, or a pole all make for great locations. And once you get into the handcuffs, they can be used anywhere and anytime. Just make sure you know where the key is, otherwise you might end up asking your neighbor if you can borrow his hack saw at 3 am.

You also want to avoid trying this at a remote location, for the same reason listed above, but also if the person holding the key dies before they unlock the person on the bed. (Stephen King wrote an entire booked based on this exact scenario!)

A Few Final Tips

Before you start, keep in mind a few simple rules.

First, make sure that bondage is something that this partner will be interested in doing. A new partner might freak out if you spring something bizarre on them, and bondage requires serious trust. Second, always end the game at an agreed upon stop word or a set time. If she knows that you will respect her need for trust, then you need to stop when she has had enough or if she gets scared. Third, keep it light and fun the first few times. She may want to try being tied up, but she might freak when you break out the ball-gag and blindfold.

Remember – the only way you are going to move into anything kinkier – like S&M – is by building the trust early. So take it slow and enjoy the ride!

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