Can you be in love with more that one person at the same time? If you are one of those people who fall in love easily, then maybe you might want to consider what to do if you end up meeting the ‘right one’ more than once and at the same time. Or maybe you are one of those guys who never meet anyone and are single forever, and then suddenly find yourself meeting and falling in love with two different ladies simultaneously.
This article will give you some advice on how to handle this dilemma, what to watch out for, and how to make the decision on which one you should keep.
How Does This Even Happen?
For those of us that have a hard enough time finding a date let alone falling in love once, then falling in love with more than one person at the same time may seem like a fantasy. But think back to all the times you weren’t dating and then suddenly you were faced with more than one person who wants to go out with you at the same time. It’s almost as if women are drawn to you because you have a girlfriend, or maybe they sense you aren’t trying like you used to.
Whatever it is, it does happen. Plus, there are lots of people out there who fall in love quicker and more easily than the rest of us do. They meet someone in a bar and by the time the ‘last call’ bell rings, they are ready to propose. Whether or not this love is as valid as something that takes longer to develop is inconsequential if you happen to be that guy and you find yourself dealing with more than one person you love at the same time.
Recognizing The Problem
You might not think this is a problem, but it is. When love is involved, emotions run higher and deeper than normal. In the end, you are going to hurt someone by either getting caught with the other one you love, or by being honest and telling her you love someone else more than her (ouch!). In either scenario, heartache will ensue. And because there is love involved, she will have a harder time understanding the why behind your break-up. You have two choices to make at this stage.
First, you can ‘cut bait and run’. This is where you make a quick decision on which person you love more and quickly put the second woman out of her misery. Of course most don’t opt for this kind choice, and instead opt for #2. In this option, you drag it out as long as possible to make sure you are picking the right person. This could create more heartache in the end, but it might allow you to make a more informed decision – one that you may have to live with for the rest of your life, or at least until the divorce comes through.
Which One Is Mrs. Right? And Which One Is Mrs. Right Now?
If you are seriously in love with two women at the same time and feel morally obligated to choose between them, then you are going to have to compare them. If this sounds cruel, just keep in mind that you could end up marrying one of these ladies. Do you want to spend the rest of your life thinking that you made the wrong choice? Here is a list of the things you should be looking for when you are comparing and contrasting the two loves of your life:
- How Do They Make You Feel? Yes, they both make your heart go ‘boom’, but is that lust or love talking? Lust usually expires on the 91st day of any new relationship, so you might have to wait a bit and see how you feel a few months down the road.
- Commonalities! Opposites attract, but that exciting component of your relationship will also end on the 91st day, sometimes slightly longer. Relationships work best when you have a lot in common and like to do the same things.
- Bad And Good Habits. Love can blind you to almost anything, so make sure you list out those nasty and good habits – smoking, heavy drinking, jogging, etc. They may not bother you now, but given enough time they will become annoying.
- Is She Critical? The same habit equation needs to be applied to what you do and if she approves. Does one of them encourage you to go out with your buddies while the other is disapproving? Does one of them make you sit down to pee? Again, it’s cute and fun now, but will drive you insane in a few years.
- Looks Matter. Check out her mother and sisters! It may sound crass, but physical attraction is important in relationships and you want it to be there for the length of your relationship.
- Friends vs. Friends. If they have different groups of friends, which ones do you like the best?
- Past Experiences. Any nasty surprises you don’t know about now may come back to bother you later. Try and find out what you can before you make a choice.
- Heart And Gut Instinct. When in doubt, listen to your gut instinct and your heart. Always two good sources of advice when trying to make a choice.
Setting One Of Them Loose
After you have made your list, then it’s time to do the right thing and tell the one you love the least that you have to end your relationship. Do this the right way.
Remember, you may want to go back to this person one day, plus you love her and don’t want to crush her. She needs to know that you do love her, but that you are in love with someone else as well. To be fair to both of them, you need to break things off and concentrate on the one relationship. You will have to decide on what to say if she asks why you choose one over the other, but make sure you say something that you can defend and that won’t break her heart.
If you are one of those guys who is always falling in love, then you are either very lucky or not too picky. In either case, try and think through this dilemma so you end up with the person you should be with. It will save you a lot of grief and heartache, and probably some legal fees if you end up getting married.