How does retiring now and dying rich sound to you? No, there’s no catch. Why is it that women are the only ones who should benefit from equal opportunity? If you thought about it carefully, you would recognize that feminism and powerful women in the workplace do not hinder your chances of getting rich—they just made them a lot better.
Since the beginning of the time when men controlled the purse strings, women have had to cater to men’s needs in order to get their piece of the pie. Driven by arcane laws preventing women from owning property (because they were property), historically, women’s only chance at the money and power grab existed in bagging themselves an up-and-coming hubby who would provide for them and hopefully not beat the crap out of them as payment.
And now, thanks to equal op and doors opening up for women, you too can cash in on this wealth of, well, wealth. That’s right, boys. Gold digging is no longer a girls-only sport. You too could start your career today and die rich without having to work a day in your life, depending on how you define work I guess…
Finding a Rich Woman
There are several kinds of rich women out there. There are rich career women who work their asses off and get the financial recognition they deserve; there are rich women whose husbands work their asses off; and there are rich women who were born rich, and who work the asses off everyone else because they don’t know how to do anything for themselves.
The type of rich woman you want to seek out is going to depend on the type of personality you are drawn to. Are you drawn by the power of a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it? A woman who makes other men tremble in their booties? If so, perhaps the professional with her own money is the woman for you. She is a woman you can respect, who is capable and intelligent. Only, beware! She may just see through your crap. Then again, maybe she’s so bored of being “conquered” by other powerful men in her biz that she is looking for a man who respects and worships her.
On the other end of the spectrum, there are the spoiled little girls who have always had money, cannot imagine a time in their lives when they won’t, and treat others accordingly. If you are drawn to the helpless little girl who will depend on you for every decision, who may be prone to cute little temper tantrums and will treat you like the lap dog you are, then this is your lady.
Then there are the bored housewives of the power-hungry men. Women who spend their time working out, dieting, lunching with other women. Bo-oring. For them I mean. They are just looking for a little excitement to add to their week and to bring to the lunch table next week with the ladies. They could just provide the right young man with the perfect balance of being a kept man without all of the responsibilities around the holidays.
When making your decision as to which type of lady you will pursue, figure out what your goals are. Are you looking for the basic kept-man status (receive gifts, enjoy the high life without paying for it) or do you want to go all the way: courting, marriage, divorce, cash settlement?
But how to meet these wonderful women? There are basically two ways to meet rich women: travel in their circles or work for them. If you travel in their circles, there are a few tips to remember: like is attracted to like in these situations. If you want to attract rich, then dress rich, act rich, know rich. Know your dinner party manners. Know your wines to charm the ladies and your scotches to soothe the husbands.
Another way to get in their way is to work for them. This way, you already appear subservient and you can slide in with your natural graces instead of having to pretend you are something you are not (then she can pay for you to look the part of a kept man after you seal the deal).
The #1 job to get close to a rich lady is without question as their personal trainer. That’s a no-brainer. Other good ones, however, include restaurant or bar owner, caterer (you wouldn’t believe what goes on in the bathrooms), bartender, server, personal assistant or con man.
When pursuing these women, no matter what your goal, there are several principles that you are going to need to keep in mind.
- Treat her as if she is the only woman in the room.
- Remember to buy her presents to show your sincerity and lack of ulterior motive.
- Make her feel charming, intelligent and in control.
- Be loyal. Anyone who can buy and sell you can certainly afford a private dick to check out how private yours is.
- Be good in bed, especially if she is cheating for you. What’s the point of risking cheating for a bad lay?
- Work out.
- Know your place. Don’t demand more than she can give you.
If the woman you are getting involved with is married, it is for one of three reasons: a) she’s bored; b) she feels taken for granted; c) she’s getting back at her husband. So, cover all the bases: a) be exciting, willing to try anything, and adopt some of her most favorite things as your own; b) lavish her with attention and compliments; c) Do everything in your power to convince her that you are worth keeping on the payroll, even after she has humiliated her husband sufficiently.
Follow this sage advice young men, and you too can soon trade in your worthless pride for your piece of the pie. Just make sure you know what to do with it once you’ve started digging in.