If you have been out of action for a while – due to injury, abstinence, or just bad luck – then you might be feeling a little performance anxiety as you contemplate reentering the world of sexual intercourse. This is a natural fear, and it is similar to what you may have felt when you lost your virginity.
Everybody wants to do well in the sack, and the last thing you want to do is bring anxiety into the bedroom. This article will give you some tips on how you can make your reentry into the wonderful world of sex smooth, slippery, and hot. Leave your worries at the office because it’s go time!
Time out or Time off? Nobody cares
Whatever the reason for your break from Beaver County, you need to put that behind you. The last thing your new lover wants to hear about is how you used to be such a dirty slut that you decide to abstain for a year. Or maybe you wanted to take a break while the penicillin you were taking for Chlamydia did its job. Or maybe you just couldn’t get any and stopped trying. The days of lean are behind you, and the land of plenty awaits you with open arms (and legs). So before we get into your reentry strategy, understand that nobody wants to hear about the ‘why’. It’s over, and it’s time to move on…her.
“I will come too fast.”
This is a common fear, and a valid one. You probably will come too fast, since your body is aching for release. There are several things you can do to fix this problem, so pick the one that works best for you.
- Masturbate like a fiend! If you know that you are going to ‘do it’ on the weekend, then unload those three second orgasms in the shower during the 3 or 4 days leading up to the moment. This won’t affect your horniness one bit, but it might just give you a little extra stamina when you need it.
- Think unsexy thoughts! When you start making love, stop thinking about how great it feels and start thinking about Martha Stewart. Distract your body just long enough to avoid the premature orgasm, then banish those thoughts from your head and go at it.
- Foreplay! Avoid the full court press, and foreplay her into orgasms. Then you can free Willie and satisfy your own cravings.
- It’s okay to have more than one orgasm – women do it all the time! So if you have to have a fast one, then have it and move on to the next one. Remember, you have ten fingers and a tongue – use them!
“What if I can’t get it up?”
Okay. This is where performance anxiety enters into the brain. You are thinking that it has been so long that you might not be able to get a hard-on when you need it the most. It’s not that you can’t get it up, but nature likes to play cruel jokes on men, so this could happen. So here a few things you can do to alleviate this situation.
- Don’t think about it. If you are in the foreplay zone, don’t start worrying about if you will get it up or not. Focus on one thing at a time.
- Get her involved. Sometimes it’s good to have someone else’s hand on your package. If you are active with your foreplay, so to will she. In fact, take her hand and place it on your penis. She should be willing to help out.
- Viagra? It’s not just for seniors anymore. If nothing else, it might get you through that first night without worrying about things you shouldn’t be worrying about.
- Let your mind go. When you start kissing, embrace the feelings and turn off your brain.
- Do it yourself. Worse case scenario, run to the washroom and make that thing hard! Then run back to the bedroom and jump her!
“What if I forget what to do?”
You have probably heard the old expression about how having sex is like riding a bike – once you do it once, you never forget how to do it. It’s true! You will remember what to do, and if you can’t get the parts to match up perfectly, don’t worry. She is not going to throw you out of the bed for being too eager. Just keep telling her how amazing she is, and all will work out fine. Here are a few more tips.
- Use sports psychology. Picture in your head an amazing sexual experience you had in the past and try and replicate it. Just make sure you don’t call out the wrong name!
- Ask her. Talk to that warm body in your bed. “Do you like this?” “What about when I do this?” “God that feels amazing!” – get the idea?
- So? Is it a bad thing to come across as an amateur? Just make sure she comes a lot and the rest will take of itself. Remember, this is your first time in a while. It might take a few more tries to get it to the level you want it to be at.
“Should I be honest with her?”
Although we recommend you forget about why you abstained and move on, you may want to try the honesty approach – particularly if you have a non-STD reason for abstaining. She might be very moved that you are confiding in her, and that might lead to some extra effort on her part. Here are few more reasons:
- Being honest will help explain any negative questions she has about your performance.
- She will be impressed that you trust her so much.
- She will want you to have an amazing time, so she will do all she can to make this experience a memorable one.
No matter the why, just be glad you back in the saddle. Life is to short for long breaks from the bedroom, and there are a lot of lonely women out there. So welcome back to wonderful world of sex. Try to have some fun, and make sure you keep your partner satisfied.