A common misconception among many men in selecting toys for their ladies is to simply buy the biggest dildo you can find and proudly head home to put it to use. While dildos have their uses it is important to remember that bigger isn’t always better and that they are typically used for penetration rather than stimulation. The wrong hint may be taken and soon you may come home to your girl with said dildo in a harness, lubed up and ready to bend you over the couch. Not your bag? The following tips will help in your search for the perfect toy for you and your lady that will give all the rights hints.
First off, know your materials. Many toys are made of jelly, rubber or silicone and all of these come with their own set of pros and cons. Jelly rubber is a soft, plastic substance containing materials such as phthalates (pronounced “thall-lights”), which is found in flooring, pesticides, nail polish, fishing lures and solvents. Many vendors of jelly toys suggest that you use a condom with these toys as the long-term effects of these components have been discovered to be potentially harmful when used internally. Also, it is a porous material so these toys are not good to share and should only be cleaned with a mild soap and water after each use.
Silicone is ideal for sex toys as it is lifelike, with a soft, smooth texture that quickly reaches body temperature. Unlike jelly rubber it is hypoallergenic, non porous and easy to clean without having to worry about allergic reactions. Silicone can also be boiled and sterilized and perfect for shared use. These toys can be heated or frozen for temperature variety in sex play. Unlike jelly rubber, which has a warm rubber, chemical scent, silicone is virtually odor free. The only real drawback is the fact that they are hard cast and therefore more expensive than their jelly rubber counterparts.
Plastic is a hard, cold, inflexible material that will often have a metallic sliver finish so these toys look sophisticated and high tech. Plastic toys make great stimulators as the vibrator is encased in plastic, rather than jelly resulting in a more intense vibration. These toys are not the best choice for internal use or in and out thrusting. Clean up is quick with some cotton balls and a bit of rubbing alcohol.
Other types of materials used in sex toy manufacturing are Cyberskin; one step up from silicone and with a price to prove it, metal; hard to find, potentially harmful and mainly used by the S&M culture and vinyl; similar to rubber and popular with many fetishists.
Now you will want to decide on the type of toys that will make the best addition to your sex play. This will depend on the individual(s) involved and the desired end result. Vibrators were created in the 1880’s as a treatment for “female hysteria”. This was a “condition” that was previously treated by doctors with manual stimulation, which would now be called masturbation by today’s standards.
Vibrators come in all shapes, sizes and materials. Small hand held models like the silver bullet or the egg can be used during sex with minimal interference and are handy for travel, solo play and discreet use. Some vibes come with adjustable straps worn around the body in order to keep the vibe firmly in place over the clit for hands free action. If you want to splurge or move on from a beginner variety, models with rotating heads, multi speeds and rows of tracked beads within the shaft for more internal stimulation such as the Rabbits are a good bet.
Dildos are typically used for vaginal, oral and anal penetration without the vibration. They come in smaller smooth jelly rubber sizes all the way to huge silicone models with “testicles” and “veins”. They should be used with lots of lube and can also be combined with a harness for role-play, girl on boy action or girl on girl action. Most acrylic or glass models are clear so you can look through the base to see what’s on the other the other side. Some models also come with the option of adding a vibrator “bullet” to an area in the base.
For back door play, anal beads are a good bet. Typically made from acrylic, they’re smooth, firm and come with a grip handle for easy extraction and to keep them from slipping to far inside. Though acrylic can be rather rigid, it can be heated up or frozen like silicone for some temperature diversity during play.
When combining anal with vaginal, butt plugs are a perfect way to go as they can be inserted and left in place safely due to their flared base. They are similar to a dildo but shorter and with a narrow head that widens and ends in a flared base. A butt plug is a better choice than a dildo for anal penetration as dildos often get stuck and can only be removed my medical extraction. Ouch! Some butt plugs can also contain a vibrator and some “ejaculate” water into your anus. Any anal play should be done with lots of lube and very slow entry and extraction in order not to damage the rectum or bowels. Thicker lubes help anal sex feel even better because the lube is heavier and stays where you put it. This is key since the anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina or mouth. Finally, if you plan to include anal play, make sure to either stick just to the butt or change condoms between positions as anal to vaginal can cause infection.
Sex toys can make a great addition to any sexual romp but must be used with caution and care. Make sure when purchasing toys to follow cleaning recommendations by the toy store staff and decide on the best materials for you and your partner as many people have allergies to latex, are prone to yeast infections and shouldn’t be using lube that contains sugar or glycerin or simply just aren’t comfortable with specific sexual acts. Once you have considered all your variables, you will soon be on the road to a more satisfying, intense and intimate knowledge of yourself and your partner.