Indecent Proposal: Scoring at Weddings

Published on Author GG RayLeave a comment


Weddings are beautiful things. Conversely, they can also be seen as expensive reminders that you are alone. And, since you are spending both time and money celebrating the love of your friends, the least you could get out of it is a little roll in the hay with one of the gussied-up female attendees. I mean, what better way to celebrate the joining together of two people in holy matrimony than an unholy romp in the sack with a virtual stranger?

Weddings are the perfect place to pick up women if you think about it. You are surrounded with single women at their ripest: all dressed up, freshly groomed and in one of two mindsets. Either they are all sentimental, vulnerable and feeling quite alone, or else they are happy for the couple, but just as happy for themselves for not having made the move to lock themselves into just one man yet. Face it, love (and lust) is in the air, and if you don’t have it in your life, then a sweaty session in the sack can be the best way to celebrate your freedom.

Weddings also present some challenges, however. For single folk, there is always pressure to bring a date to these things, even if it is just your closest single friend of the opposite sex. The trick to a successful evening is figuring out who is single and is just bringing a friend to pass the evening with. The best way to figure this out is that actual dating couples at weddings are of two kinds: the ones who are all mushy and in love (who are easy to spot) and the ones whose disdain for each other is brought to the forefront when surrounded by all of the other sappy couples. They will probably get into a fight and leave early.

Especially ripe for the picking is the single bridesmaid. She has been involved in the planning and execution of the entire wedding and is likely ready to find a little action for herself. Chances are good as well that if she isn’t dating anyone, she will not bring a date as he will be sitting alone for most of the evening with people he barely knows anyway. And, there are always the girls who bring other single girlfriends as their date to act as their wingman. These ladies will be easy to spot early on, and perfect to cozy up to (especially if you have a wingman of your own).

If you are good friends with the bride or groom, a good idea is to talk to them beforehand to let them know that if they have any cute single friends coming to the wedding, you would be happy to sit at a table with them in order to keep them company throughout the dinner. This gives you an opportunity to charm the ladies throughout the evening and reduces the challenge of scoping them out for yourself and having to come up with a non-cheesy approach of your own.

If you are not fortunate enough to have the geography of a good seating plan on your side, then a good way to spot singles is to understand the sociology of the wedding. If you look at the typical wedding crowd, you will find that most of the men are hanging around the bar while the women socialize amongst themselves. In order to wheel, you are either going to have to find a way to disrupt these familiar patterns and focus in on the girl your are interested in.

When she goes to the bar, you should as well. Try to establish a conversation, which can start off as lame as, “How do you know the bride and groom?” If she is open to your advances she will let you know by hanging out as well. Do not push yourself on her all at once, though. Establish contact gradually but steadily throughout the evening.

As the evening wears on, most likely, the couples will start to weed themselves out early. The single girls, much like the single guys, will stick around to whoop it up a bit and take advantage of the (hopefully free) bar. Don‘t be afraid to dance. If you aren’t comfortable dancing to the fast songs, find a kid to dance with. Not only will their antics take the attention away from your pitiful moves, you will have every girl in the room looking at you with doe eyes as their hearts melt over how good you are with the adorable children.

Also, don’t be afraid to ask a girl to slow dance. Nothing is more depressing than having fun dancing, only to have to secede your position on the dance floor to all the lovey couples when the slow songs come on. While you’re dancing, feel free to compliment her on how pretty she looks. Anyone likes a compliment, and when you make an effort to do yourself up, it is really nice when someone notices. If she isn’t interested further, she will let you know by avoiding you the rest of the night. Otherwise, the courting game is on. Again, if she has a girlfriend with her, try to find a guy to keep her company. Women are much more comfortable taking care of their flirting needs when they know that their friend isn’t feeling hung out to dry.

As the night nears an end, if you haven’t quite sealed the deal, hopefully you or some other swinging singles in the group will have a hotel room or a house that you can invite the crowd of intoxicated revellers (that are not yet ready to call it a night) back to. It’s better if it is someone else’s pad, that way you and your chosen lady can leave when you want to, instead of having to sneak off to find a dark corner in a house full of people. If you are lucky, you may end up with something that lasts beyond just that night. If you are really lucky, she will be leaving on a plane in the early morning , and you will have the bed all to yourself by dawn. That’s a proposal we can all get behind.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *