The goal of any shared successful encounter is always, of course, mutual satisfaction. But what if the techniques of the woman who you are with do not quite measure up? If her weak sexual skills fail to make your knees feel weak, your heart pound fast, or your breath run short – is there anything you can do about it without offending her or hurting her feelings?
Yes! The good news is that there are several ways that you can guide, instruct, and encourage women who have less than impressive skills in the bedroom. The key is to be kind, positive, subtle and sexy as you communicate your hopes for a more satisfying sexual experience.
When you are in a sexy and compromising situation with a woman, the first rule of thumb is to always be kind. Even if you are secretly thinking to yourself that she handles your manhood like a butcher in a cornerstore deli – do not articulate any unkind thoughts or observations. She is likely to get worse, or even get up and leave if you offer any serious criticism towards her. So how do you refine her bedside manner in a manner that is kind and constructive?
The key is to focus on the positive. Think hard and find something that she is doing right and tell her that “I really like it when you do…” ( fill in the blanks yourself here!) Or if she manages to hit a happy place respond immediately with an encouraging comment like “Oh ya, that’s the spot.” If you are not inclined to communicate verbally during sexual encounters, then overcoming her shortcomings will be more difficult – in the least, you will have to offer some moans and groans of pleasure or encouragement when (or if!) she does something that you enjoy.
So what if you have remained kind and positive towards her but the encounter has failed to take a turn for the better? Well, then it’s time to for you to offer some more obvious instruction and encouragement. The key here is subtlety. For example, rather than pointing or instructing her in a specific direction, try to gently guide her there. Keep your hands involved in the encounter and keep them in constant motion. Then when you use them to make minor adjustments (to yourself or to her), she will not take it as a “correction” to her ways.
You can also use subtle remarks that might encourage her to try a new or different technique or position. For example, you might tell her that “I’ve always wanted a women to do it like… (again, fill in the blanks!). You might have to be slightly “creative” here – in other words, do not be afraid to tell a little white lie. Maybe you have done it upside down and backwards before and you how great it is. However, she does not want to hear you compare the present encounter with a past one and be warned – NEVER compare her to one of your past lovers.
When it comes to encouraging a woman towards greater sexual success, the most important thing is to stay sexy. She may not be putting you in the mood with her techniques, and it may not be the most mind-blowing encounter of your life, but if you want her to get any better it is up to you to keep that sexy feeling alive. Think of something sexy and make the best of the situation – after all, sex is sex.
Another tip – when it comes to providing subtle and positive feedback towards her, use your sexiest voice or whisper in her ear. Alternately, you might turn the tables altogether. If the encounter is going nowhere is a hurry, know when to change things up or throw in the towel altogether. You might make her pleasure (rather than your own) the focus of your attention, or you might finish as quickly and kindly as possible and go home to a cold shower.
However, remember to consider the possible consequences of your decision. If you know that a return engagement is not worth your time, you really have nothing to lose. But if you have invested in the relationship already, you might try to encourage her as gently and enthusiastically as possible. Don’t make her feel like she enrolled in Sex 101, even is you do want to play her Professor… be creative and try to show her new things without being taken too seriously by her. Remember, no woman wants a lecture at the bedside table.