When your partner gets pregnant, you brace yourself for many, many changes. People will line up to tell you that your life will never be the same, that you won’t sleep for months after the baby is born, that it will completely change the dynamic of your relationship with your partner once the baby comes along. What you may not expect is that things might change in the bedroom long before that.
A friend’s wife got pregnant and he was complaining that she had cut him off in the bedroom by the second month. He was literally counting the days, minutes and seconds until she gave birth so he could get a shot at her in the bedroom. I listened to this for a couple of months before I finally broke to him what seemed obvious to me: it would be several weeks after the birth before his wife would be healed and able to have sex (if she had the energy).
This not to say that most women are going to be reluctant to have sex during their pregnancy. In many cases, it is quite the opposite. The hormones coursing through a woman’s system during pregnancy often give her periodic libido boosts, and many doctors encourage sex on the final weeks to trigger the birth. On the other hand, the hormones might also make her more sensitive and emotional.
The biggest obstacle to sex during pregnancy is how a woman’s body changes and how comfortable she is with the changes. When she gets pregnant, a woman’s body grows so rapidly, many feel as though they are walking around in someone else’s body. They get curves where there were none before because the body stores fat in reserves to make sure both mother and baby have enough fuel to grow.
In order to make your partner feel as though you still find her sexy, and don’t just regard her as some chubby old Mom, you are going to need to crank up the compliments, romance and sensuality in your approach.
Shower Her With Praise
The first key to keeping your partner interested in sex is making her feel sexy throughout the pregnancy. While pregnancy can be a wondrous experience, feeling fat isn’t. And no matter how many people tell her how beautiful she looks, most women simply aren’t as comfortable in their pregnant bodies as they are in their normal bodies. They worry that the combination of you seeing them as a “mother” instead of as a sexy woman and the weight gain that accompanies pregnancy will lead to your sexual attraction for them to wane.
Your first step in keeping your pregnant partner feeling like a sexy and sensual woman is to tell her how beautiful her body looks. You should know her well enough to figure out what parts of her body she becomes insecure about during her pregnancy. Don’t be shy to specifically compliment her new, curvier parts. Even if she reacts in disbelief, keep up the compliments. If she hears them enough, she’ll start to believe them and consider the possibility that she is still desirable. Be sure to compliment her all the time—not just when you are looking for action.
Keeping Her Interested Keeping her partner’s interest in sex from circling the drain with her body image could be a challenge. You want her to feel sexy, but don’t just make the effort when you want to have sex with her. Being sensual and attentive is a good way to keep her interest high and her self-esteem intact.