Anal sex—this idea establishes both fear and excitement in many people’s minds. And straight men always seem to want to just “try it out”—of course, they’re not the ones getting an object rammed into a place intended to only excrete waste material. Many men seem to think that just by poking around in the anal region, women will suddenly allow them to have anal sex with them. Why do men like anal sex so much? And what do women think of it? Read on to find out more…
What’s so great about the back door?
For men, there are a variety of reasons they keep pushing for back door entry. Men always seem to cite particular reasons for wanting to give their girlfriends the rear admiral. It’s tighter, it’s forbidden, and it makes a great locker room story, right? Well, I guess it might be tighter than a vagina, but the “it’s tighter, let me in” argument doesn’t hold much weight. I mean, vaginas are also tight—it’s not like you’re sticking your thing into a vast hole. There is friction in the vagina!
And yes, it is that forbidden area that is often only accidentally touched during intercourse, and everyone wants what they can’t have, right? Well, believe it or not, not all women are vehemently opposed to anal sex. Here are some ideas of what women love and hate about the dirty little subject.
Getting buggered and liking it
Despite the legions of women who swear they would never let anyone deflower their bum, anal sex can result in pleasurable experiences for women. The rectum and the vagina are connected by a wall, with important sexual nerves providing a very different kind of sensation that some women describe as orgasmic.
Another aspect that women like is that anal sex, for many, represents a new unchartered territory for the two of you to discover together. At least in theory, the idea of anal sex can stimulate intense feelings of arousal in women. She’s seen the same porn movies as you—she might be a bit apprehensive about the whole back door situation, but she’s also a bit curious.
Everyone knows that anal sex can really hurt. But, keep in mind that some people get off on pain. For them, pain is pleasure. A word of advice though—don’t assume that your girlfriend is one of those people, jam it in her ass while she’s not looking and then hope she likes it.
Not-so-pleasant things about anal sex…and how to ease her worries
It hurts. This is the biggest issue that women have. Anal sex can cause severe tissue damage, bleeding and extensive pain. Because it’s a tight area that is not designed for the entry of hard objects, you must tread carefully.
Get some lube
Having things that feel like large sausages shoved up a girl’s portal is always going to hurt—this is why lube is vital to anal sex. “Oops, it just slipped in…” Here’s a newsflash—things don’t just slip into the anus. It does not secrete liquid and thus, there is a need for lubricant. While you’re lubing up her rosebud, you might want to massage her bum, spreading her cheeks together and apart. Also known as foreplay, these sorts of activities will greatly enhance your chances of getting to score that home run.
Start with your fingers or a very small, thin dildo to penetrate her initially. You are in no rush, so take your time to make sure she is comfortable with this. And make sure that when (and if) she does allow you to enter her, you have a condom on and lots and lots of lubricant. Even if you’ve been together forever and are assured that you both have no STDs, you should use a condom. Because of the tearing and close proximity to blood vessels, anal sex is one of the ways that AIDS and other STDs are easily spread.
You’re in charge
Another thing that makes women nervous is the fact that you are the one with all the power—you are in charge. Chances are, you’ll be doing it doggy-style and she won’t even get to see your face. Women are afraid that, once all the blood has left your brain and headed south as it tends to do at the mention of anal sex, you will turn into some mad beast that humps with reckless abandon and doesn’t consider how painful this could be to her. So—think before you hump. Ask her how she’s doing, if she’d like to stop etc.
Despite all the porn movies you’ve seen that show girls writhing in ecstasy while getting entered from behind, anal sex can cause serious damage. Sex expert Sue Johanson has said that anal sex can cause such severe damage to the thin wall between the vagina and the anus that in some women, the wall ends up torn. Now let’s think about this—the wall that separates your poop hole from your love box is gone. Where will all the poop go? Into your vagina! Nobody wants that now, do they?
Some women might partake in this activity simply out of a desire to please her man. This is not a good enough reason and you should let her know that. If she is a little bit curious, read up on the subject and maybe that will help convince her. If not, just be lucky you are getting any to begin with. And whatever you do, don’t stick it in her bum and then her vagina—there are some serious bacterial issues here and you are just going to give her an infection—which means no sex for you!