Everyone has a different way of getting off; some like the plain and ordinary missionary position, while others get turned on by thoughts of sex with sheep (yikes!). Here’s a general overview of some odd sexual practices as well as some laws were created, once upon a time, in order to combat the tendency for people to engage in such odd practices.
Weird things people do for sex…
Does one of your buddies like to dress up like a baby when he watches porn and jerks off? The proper term is anaclitism and it “describes the act of achieving adult sexual arousal by activities or objects one was exposed to as an infant” (The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices). Apparently the ancient Greeks used to encourage this, believing that for a man who had learned he was fatally sick, a rebirth ceremony was necessary for recovering.
Are you brave enough to try it out yourself? If you must, gather together some items that will make you think you are a baby again. Fashion a diaper out of a sheet or a large towel and safety pins; if your girlfriend is into it and has large breasts…well, you get the idea. Now, get some toys and a baby blanket, and you are on your way to anaclitic orgasm.
Did Holli Would from the movie Cool World turn you on? If your answer is yes, you might want to push this a little further by exploring the world of anthropomorphic cartoons. These include cartoons of entities, usually animals, which have been “endowed” with human characteristics.
Think about this in a sexual manner, and you’ve probably figured it out already—these cartoons include images of chickens with huge erections and deer with lovely, long eyelashes and a D-cup rack. Apparently drawing things other than humans engaged in kinky and dirty poses, cartoonists were able to work the legal loophole that claimed that it was illegal to picture humans engaged in bestiality, etc…
If you are not afraid of reptiles, particularly snakes, you might not be opposed to the idea of ophidicism which generally refers to those who use reptiles in sexual acts. Women have been depicted in various pornography with snakes; most often it involves them sticking a slow moving snake into their vagina. The women reach orgasm as the snake wriggles out of her vagina (what’s up with that?). Obviously a non-poisonous snake would be used for this sort of activity.
If you’ve ever seen the movie 9 1/2 Weeks, you’ve already been exposed to sitophilia. This refers to people who use food in their sexual practices. For women in particular, long, phallic foods such as cucumbers, bananas and even sausages make for perfectly shaped masturbation tools. Honey is another popular food-sex item.
The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices reports a specific use of the food-sex metaphor. Take a paper plate and cut a hole out of the middle of it that is large enough to pull a penis and sack through. It will look like the penis and balls are being served for dinner. Then add warm spaghetti and meatballs to the plate. The sex partner then proceeds to slowly eat the spaghetti and meatballs off the plate while the other partner becomes sexually aroused.
For those who get turned on by pain, you might already know what urtication is. This describes people who like to use stinging nettles on their skin for stimulation. Nettles have projections that aren’t as big as thorns. According to the Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, men who use condoms sometimes apply a nettle to their penis before putting on the condom for sex. Apparently the stinging sensations help to combat the desensitized feelings that come as a result of condom use.
Weird sex laws…
If you thought those were weird, check out these bizarre sex laws (strangely amusing that someone had a reason to even think of these)!
- If you are in Florida, it is illegal to have sex with a porcupine.
- In London, don’t have sex on a parked motorcycle, or you will be breaking the law.
- In China, it is illegal for women to be walking around a hotel room naked; the only place in a hotel room that is okay for them to be naked in is the bathroom.
- Until 1884, a woman could be thrown in jail for not giving her husband sex.
- It is illegal for one to have sex with a dead person in the United States.
- According to Lebanese law, is it okay for men to have sex with animals, as long as those animals are female. Having sex with a male animal, well, that’s just sinful.
- Men in Willowdale, Oregon, can’t legally curse during sex.
- In Ames, Iowa, if, after lovemaking, a husband drinks more than three sips of beer while in bed with his wife, he is breaking the law.
- In several Middle Eastern countries, if you have sex with a lamb, you can’t eat it afterward.
- Apparently it is legal for women in Hong Kong, if they have been betrayed by their husbands, to kill them. However, they cannot use any tool other than their bare hands.
- Santa Cruz, Bolivia, has a law that states that it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
- In Cali, Columbia, a woman’s mother must bear witness to the first time her daughter and the daughter’s husband have sex.