Just about everyone has chatted online through the use of web forums designed to bring people together, or through the convenience of instant messaging. Chat rooms exist in a variety of forms and offer a diversity of topics, so that internet users can find other people to chat with on just about every topic imaginable. And what are so many internet chatters and instant messaging users fascinated with? Sex.
Many men admit to going online to chat with girls in sex chat rooms or via instant messaging services because it’s fun, it’s anonymous, and it can be a turn-on. Because it’s so commonplace nowadays, it’s sometimes difficult to determine whether online chatting constitutes cheating in a relationship. If your partner is an avid online chatter, should you be concerned, or is chatting not a serious offence because it’s not happening in the “real” world? To find out more about the ins and outs of online chatting and instant messaging, keep reading!
The Yes Side
There are a lot of people who would argue that online chatting that is sexual or flirtatious in nature, through instant messaging or online chat rooms, is definitely a breach of trust between two partners and should be considered cheating. The “Yes Side,” as I will call it, believes that even a virtual relationship with someone that you haven’t met in person is as dangerous as a real-life affair, and in some cases, can be considered more risky.
For example, think of all of the people out there that have developed a stalker from a relationship forged on the internet. Or, imagine all of the happy couples that have met as a result of chatting on the internet. While many relationships fail or are fraudulent, many other internet relationships result in “in the flesh” meetings that can often develop into serious “real-life” relationships or marriage. Don’t believe me? Then check out the web for true stories of people who have met online and gotten married. So, is it any wonder that your partner might be concerned to find you chatting online with other women?
Different types of chatting and cheating
The many different types of chat rooms and chatting makes it even more difficult to determine what constitutes cheating and what doesn’t. For example, if you visit a chat room that is supposed to be devoted to information about cars, and you find out that there are people chatting about sex and other illicit topics, and other users are aggressively trying to engage you in such conversations, you might not know what to think. After all, you weren’t looking for it, were you?
But this is often how things start, according to those who firmly believe that online chatting is cheating. You might not think that chatting with someone who describes themselves as “hotandhornybabe” is a big deal if all you are exchanging are recipes. But that’s rarely the case now, is it? At some point, the conversation might turn to questions about physical appearance, relationships and sex. And while you may not consider any form of online chatting to be cheating, you should speak to your partner about it then. If she is disturbed by this, then you should take her feelings into consideration too, and ask yourself how you would feel if she engaged in flirtatious sexual banter with men online.
The No Side
Just as those on the “Yes Side” are vehemently opposed to online chatting/cheating, those on the “No Side” don’t think that online chatting, even if it is sexual or flirtatious in nature, constitutes cheating. After all, you aren’t meeting anyone in person and you aren’t engaging in physical relationships with anyone either. So what’s the big deal then, right?
Some advocates of online chatting even think that it can help improve your relationship with your partner. For example, some men who visit online sex chat rooms or engage in sexual chat with women they’ve met online argue that it increases their sexual desire with their partner, thereby improving their sex life. It can be a way of indulging in fantasies that you can then use in the bedroom with your girlfriend. Or, for relationships that have cooled down in the sex department, sexual online chatting can be a way to reignite the fires within.
Plus, the internet enables anonymity, so who knows if the person you are chatting with is even who they say they are? That 5’10” model who describes herself as having 36-24-36 measurements could very well be a short, fat, balding man with a penchant for getting you hot and horny. How can your girlfriend get mad at that?
If you are an online chatter…
If you chat online with women and you don’t tell your partner, you are asking for trouble. You should be honest with her and try to include her in your online shenanigans, if she’s interested. It’s pretty easy to find out if you are an online chatter/cheater because sometimes the history of your chats may be stored on the computer. If you and your girlfriend or wife share the same computer, chances are good that she will find something on the computer that will rouse her suspicions. However, if you are honest with her and let her know that you aren’t cheating, that you don’t chat with just one person all of the time, and explain that you are just exploring the internet, she might be less inclined to throw a vase at your head.
If you don’t come clean with your partner about your online chatting habits, then you run the risk of being caught and having your girlfriend freak out on you. And, if you think that you can just hide your secret forever, think again. She will certainly notice if you start spending all of your time on the computer, and if you get jumpy when she wants to use the computer.
So, should online chatting constitute cheating? That depends on the kind of chat you are engaged in and whether it is affecting your real love life. Unfortunately, there are no absolutes when it comes to this, so you will just have to tread honestly and carefully.