It’s embarrassing, unsatisfying and dis-empowering. It’s what no guy wants to talk about, never mind have happen to him. It’s premature ejaculation, and there’s nothing funny about it.PE, as it is more affectionately called, can ruin more than just the moment – it can ruin your sex life altogether. If it hasn’t happened to you before, you are one of the lucky ones. However, it’s not hard to imagine the disappointment it can cause for men and women alike.
There are ways to avoid PE altogether, and whether it’s a problem you currently have, or one that you are trying to continually avoid, these tactics promise to protect and promote your sex life for years to come.
Technically, PE is a condition whereby ejaculation occurs prior to the wishes or intentions of sexual partners. It is considered to be the most common sexual dysfunction for men under 40 years of age. Most people believe that there is only one tactic of control for delaying premature ejaculation: distraction. By distracting himself during sex, a man is expected to be able to fight off PE long enough to ensure satisfaction for both partners.
The days of distracted sex, however, have come to an end. Today’s women are not satisfied by lovers whose lips are mouthing “One Mississippi, Two Mississippi” as their man begins a short-lived countdown to an inevitably premature climax.
More importantly, being forced to distraction during the most enjoyable activity of the day (sex!!) is not ideal from a man’s point of view. So what’s the solution?
What most men don’t know is that there are three stages of sexual encounters: desire, excitement, and orgasm. The key tactic for avoidance of PE is to extend the second stage in the process of the sexual encounter. The first phase, desire, should not be harnessed. It is the impulse stage whereby the encounter is initiated by one or both of the party’s involved.
The excitement stage, however, is fairly easy to prolong, and this is where the tactics for avoidance of PE must be practiced. Keep in mind that not all of these tips can be strictly applied to all men – everyone has different sexual habits and experiences. It is best if you take these tips and personalize them. This will help you to improve your sexual capacity, as well as that of your partner.
First of all, avoidance of PE involves knowing yourself and knowing your body. Engaging in physical activity is the best way to achieve physical self-awareness. Challenging yourself to try new things and keep active will help you maintain a more controlled and satisfying sex life.
It is also very important to avoid performance pressure when it comes to sexual encounters. Your most satisfying and successful experiences are likely to occur with someone you feel comfortable with.
For example, bringing home the hottest girl in the bar will only work out for you both if you consider yourself to be the hottest guy in the bar. If you are at all intimidated, anxious or uncomfortable with your sexual partner, there is an increased chance of PE. So choose your partners wisely…
The third important tactic of avoiding PE is control. How do you learn control? Practice. That’s right – the only way you are going to be able to exercise control with a sexual partner is to master control of yourself. After all, practice does make perfect. There are a few tips that will help improve control of your ejaculation.
First of all, masturbate regularly – at different times of the day or night, using different stimulants and aids. We suggest that you master the art of “dry” masturbation, then introduce substances to make it “wet”. Once you have learned how to do both, switch back and forth between them. Practice delaying your ejaculation as much as can, teaching your entire body the art of control.
Controlling your ejaculation is also a matter of focus. Rather than distracting yourself from the sexual encounter, it is best to focus more intently upon it. Focus on exploring all the different aspects of your sexuality as well as your partners. Consider sex as a means of learning and growing, rather than just “unloading.” It will help if you focus on the encounter as an entire body experience.
While your “member” is the central character in the performance, it is by no means the only one. Try focusing on your partners’ sexuality as much, if not more, than your own. Make sex a learning, total body experience and chances are you will successfully avoid PE for the duration of your sex life.
Number five on the list of tactics to avoid PE is positioning. How you maneuver during the sexual encounter may determine how successful it will ultimately be. Generally, men find it easier to control their ejaculation when a woman is on top.
However, you must get to know your own preferences for sexual positioning because everyone is different. Once you learn the most dangerous position for you, i.e. the one that causes you to lose control in 3, 2, 1…, avoid this position until you are both ready to climax.
A successful sex life also involves a sense of perspective. Take the good, bad and the ugly from your sexual past and apply it to your sexual repertoire. No sexual encounter is a bad one as long as you learn from it, and this includes experiences with PE.
The more perspective you carry with you about your sexual strengths and weaknesses, the better your experiences will get in the future.
If you are having trouble dealing with ongoing problems with PE, counselling might be the best method of recovery. Sex therapists are trained to deal with sexual dysfunction in men, women and couples, and are able to recognize the psychological, physiological and emotional causes for many common sexual issues.
It may only take one or two visits with a counsellor in order to resolve a sexual problem, so don’t be shy about getting help when you need it.
Another important thing to consider in the attempt to avoid PE is open communication with your partner. As mentioned earlier, your comfort level and an absence of performance pressure are key factors in a successful sexual encounter.
Communicating with your partner about your likes and dislikes will help you both control your experiences and will lead to more a mutually satisfying sex life.
If you are interested in trying alternate techniques for avoiding PE and prolonging pleasure, consider trying a topical product. Various lubricants and creams are on the market that can help to numb your overly sensitive regions.
Many men use these products to help sustain themselves throughout the excitement stage of the sexual encounter.
Finally, there is only one thing left to do in order to avoid PE. Relax. Breathe deeply, enjoy the experience, remain in a peaceful state of mind, and practice control over your body. Remember that premature ejaculation is a fairly common occurrence amongst men and that it can be easily overcome…