If you are a guy, then chances are good you have made a mistake or two in a relationship. And since you are a guy, then you have to understand that this will not change. Sure, we all get older, but most guys tend to make the same (or similar) mistakes over, and over, and over again.
So what do you do when you make a mistake? Like any relationship scenario, you need to make a decision on how best to solve the problem. This article will explore some common mistakes guys make in relationships, and explore ways to remedy the situation. We will offer you some advice on which route to take – the quick fix or the long-term solution. Then you can decide which strategy you want to use, so you can keep your love life moving forward for a long, short, or fun length of time.
Mistake #1 – You get caught in a lie
Winston Churchill once said that the truth should be wrapped in a bodyguard of lies. The reverse of this works best for guys – wrap your lie in a bodyguard of truths. It’s the best way to avoid suspicion!
You admit you lied, and take the blame like a man. Even chronic liars seem to work this angle to the extreme, probably because their significant other respects the fact that they at least admit the truth when confronted with…the truth! But everyone has their limits, so eventually she won’t care that you admit to your lies. She’ll just dump you.
This involves sitting down and talking things over with her, to expose the reason why you lied. Now this will probably only work if you are not a chronic liar, so you need to save this up for something big – like an affair! Plus, this is a long-term strategy for a serious relationship, and it won’t mean anything to someone new. But you now need to come clean, have the heart-to-heart, and then move forward. In this scenario, the truth can only be shattered once, then you need to prove you are a changed man.
Mistake #2 – You get in a fight
Nobody’s perfect, and it is oh-so tempting to point out someone’s flaws during an argument. But when you do this to your partner, you have to remember that she will NEVER forget what you say. And she will throw it back in you face during times of stress.
As soon as the words leave your mouth (you’re fat, stupid, flat-chested, etc), apologize. Then hold her close, kiss her, tell her you love her, and repeatedly say what an ass you are. This will defuse the situation, and she might overlook what you said.
Do everything listed above, but follow it up with 2 weeks worth of over-the-top love and affection. Take her out for romantic dates, flowers, etc. End the two weeks by reiterating what ass you are, and that you are ashamed about that hateful thing you said. Make sure you mention that you don’t know why you said it, and blame it all on the heat of the moment.
Mistake #3 – You get looking/talking/touching/kissing another woman
We all suffer form the ‘grass is always greener on the other side’ mentality, which usually kicks in 3 months into a new relationship or five years into a marriage. But thinking about it and actually doing something are on opposite sides of the spectrum, and acting on those impulses can open up a world of hurt.
Lie. Your new girlfriend will believe you the first few times it happens, so why admit to anything? If nothing else, those first few months of a relationship are a buffer zone/boundary tester, which should be exploited until relationship rules are discussed.
You might want to approach this from more than one angle. If you have a wandering eye, she will probably get used to it as long as you don’t start shouting out someone else’s name during sex. The same goes for being flirty, as long as you lavish the love on her and public display your affection for her at parties, clubs, etc.
Mistake #4 – You insult her friends or family
Laugh it off, and tell her you probably will get to like them after you get to know them. However, I you have serious issues with a particular friend or family member, you might have to stifle your hatred until you have been dating long enough to put yourself between your girlfriend and the friend.
There are only two options here. First, you suffer in silence and fake that you like the person. This strategy can only really work if your contact with the friend or family member is limited. Second, you tell your partner exactly what it is about this friend or family member that you dislike. Make sure you have a catalogue of examples, and make sure you have made the effort to get to know and like this particular friend or family member. If you play this right, she will be on your side and start to see things from your POV.
Mistake #5 – You get caught watching porn
Shut the computer down ASAP! You can also blame it on a friend. Say he sent you a file and you did not know what it was until you opened it up. If you were on a website, make sure you clear your browser history before you start covering your tracks. You can also apologize and tell her you didn’t realize it would bother her, and then justify that you only go to classy porn sites that offer interesting articles. Offer to stop if it will make her happy.
Get her involved with your porn watching! But start off small and sexy, and avoid anything questionable at the beginning. As long as she doesn’t feel threatened by what you are doing, you should be able to parlay this into something you both enjoy.
Mistakes happen, so don’t feel like you have to run away every time you make one. Your response to your mistake should depend on what you have invested in the relationship, and not be based on panic. Remember – wise men make mistakes, but only fools repeat them! But you can repeat them, as long as you know how to handle them when you make them.