Self Pleasure has had a bad rap. For years, doctors, parents and teachers of all kinds warned that it stunted growth and corrupted youth. But times have changed, and so have the reasons for masturbation. Self pleasure no longer needs to exist behind closed doors – it is out in the open and is as widely accepted as any other healthy sexual activity. Have you made the transition out of the privacy of your bathroom, bed or shower, into sharing sexual self pleasure with a partner?
Most people will admit to masturbation within certain contexts – at home alone, in bed first thing in the morning, or in the shower. But less people speak of the practice of self pleasure when they are in the company of their sexual partner. The benefits of mutual masturbation can be numerous – so don’t be shy, read on, and start planning for self pleasure for one and all…
In the past, there has been a lot of guilt associated with self pleasure. Societal norms, largely dictated by outdated religious conceptions, did not allow for self pleasure within the private lives of men or women. As sexual and spiritual misgivings have fallen to the wayside, so have most of the negative conceptions regarding the “M” word.
Men and women no longer need to feel guilty about masturbation – it is a natural exercise that can actually benefit your health and your relationship with a woman. There are a wide variety of reasons to practice self pleasure within a relationship, but its best to narrow them down to the top five: intimacy, education, monogamy, erotica and personal integrity.
Masturbating with a partner is a very intimate experience that can bring you closer together. Sharing something with someone that usually only exists in complete privacy can improve your trust, openness and confidence in one another. In order to get a woman to open up to this activity, you will likely have to be encouraging and supportive. Once she finds out how much you would like to watch her, she might discover how much fun it is to also watch you.
You must only broach this subject if you are sure she will respond favorably – if she, for example, still does not admit to masturbation in her private life, there is virtually no chance that it is something she will share with you – no matter how much you believe in the intimacy of your relationship. So get to know your partner before you suggest a night a mutual self pleasure and satisfaction.
The second best thing about this shared experience is the educational benefits. Watching someone touch themselves in all their favorite places will help you map out the best buttons to push during later sexual encounters. So as you are encouraging your partner, take note of how and where she touches herself – this is a sure fire way to bring her pleasure in the future.
Believe it or not, shared experiences of masturbation can also help you to maintain a monogamous relationship. Shared self pleasure can be practiced on those nights when you are not on the same page, or not both “in the mood” for full scale intercourse. Masturbation can also help to relieve stress in a relationship because it takes the pressure of satisfaction off of the other partner – this is very important, as many monogamous relationships tend to break down if one partner feels that they are unable to satisfy the other.
Finally, shared self pleasure helps to maintain relationships when couples are separated by distance. Phone or internet sex requires that couples make the act of self pleasure the objective of communication, and it helps to prevent a traveling partner from develop a wandering eye and mind…
The fourth reason to engage in shared self pleasure is much more simple – erotica. A morning, afternoon or nighttime engagement involving mutual masturbation can definitely spice things up in your relationship. More so than watching porn, and playing out the same old foreplay tricks and sexual positions, masturbation with your partner can be very erotic. Try introducing the activity during role playing or on a “dress up” night, and you will have something to keep you smiling for days!
Finally, there is the most important aspect of masturbation – yourself. Practising self pleasure keeps you in tune with your own body and with your likes and dislikes. The better you know your own body, the better your chances are of having an exciting and satisfying relationship with a partner. So practice alone and together and you will have the best sex life of anyone you might know.
If you want to make your experience with shared self pleasure extra exciting, introduce toys and games into the mix. You might encourage the event by, for example, investing in a shiny new vibrator for your partner. If you are the competitive types, you could play climax games – where you both get as close to orgasm as possible, then cool off for a while with sexy back or tongue massages. Of course, everything is also sexier in the presence of a mirror, so don’t be shy about introducing your favorite full length reflector into the mix as well – the possibilities are endless!
Once you have practiced self pleasure with your partner once, the door is open to do it again and again. For most couples, however, it is not something that happens week in and week out. It is a bit of a sacred event that should be respected and practised in moderation. Remember, intimacy comes from pleasuring yourself as well as your partner and the best way to maintain a healthy sex life is to ensure that you are both satisfied by the sexual adventures that you embark on. That said, you must enjoy the freedom that comes from self pleasure as well. After all, it is not something to feel shy, guilty or embarrassed about. It is a natural expression of you and your partners’ bodies and your relationship with one another