Most men know that trust and communication are essential to forming close personal friendships with women. When it comes to male bonding, it is most commonly liquid truth, a.k.a beer, that opens all the “lines” of trust and communication between friends.
Any man can have sex with one of his woman friends, or bond of frosty ones with his buddies. However, what few men have yet to master is the concept of “sex friends”. It takes a very talented male to maintain an ongoing casual sex relationship with a woman.
Sex friendships are more common than most people know or expect. This is because they are usually kept on the “down low” amongst people who are looking for a satisfying and convenient alternative to a serious relationship. The essence of a casual sex relationship is just that – it is casual. There are few responsibilities or expectations involved, especially those that are an inherent part of serious or long-term relationships between men and women.
The perks of a sex friendship are fairly obvious – regular sex over the course of months (or even years!), no strings attached. However, there is an art to maintaining an ongoing casual sex relationship that mystifies most men. The result is that many well intentioned sexual friendships end poorly or prematurely.
Often one of the friends gets hurt or offended by the others activities and the unique relationship is lost forever. However, it is possible to maintain an ongoing casual sex relationship by following the five rules of casual sex relationship success related to communication, timing, distance, satisfaction, and respect.
As with any relationship, communication is an important part of successful sex friendships. It is essential that sex friends discuss the logistics of their very special relationship from the start. In order to avoid future issues or problems, it is best to set some ground rules for the friendship, which reflect both parties’ interests and expectations. To be sure, things will go badly if your intended sex friend is confused by your motives.
Your sex friend needs to be someone who is open and aware of their sexuality, as well as in control of their emotions. The best candidate for a successful sex friendship is a woman who shares your same motivations – fun, satisfying sex with no expectations. Plan to clearly communicate this as early in your friendship as possible if you hope to sustain a long-term casual sex relationship.
The second factor to master in an ongoing sex friendship is timing. Generally, a casual sex relationship in only founded at a time when two people are “in between” more serious relationships, but are still looking for sexual adventure and satisfaction. This sense of timing must remain a central characteristic as this special friendship progresses. A true sex friendship respects more serious relationships between men and women, and therefore ceases when one or both of the friends explores a committed relationship with another person.
Quite often, however, the sex friendship starts up again if the more serious relationship fails. In the end, a sex friendship “waxes and wanes” like the moon. Because there are no expectations, there is also no guarantee of the relationship continuing into the future, and therefore timing within the relationship must always respected. For example, sex friends are notorious for initiating and receiving random late night booty calls. However, with no questions asked, they must also always be prepared to hear their special friend respond: “now is not a good time…”
The third factor involved in maintaining an ongoing casual sex relationship is distance. Your sex friend is not, and should never be, your best friend of the opposite sex. Nor should it be a best friend of any of your family members of close friends.
Despite that certain “intimacy” that you share, a safe amount of distance must be maintained in your sex friendship. You do not want to start talking on the phone or seeing each other socially on a regular basis. Nor do you want of all her and your friends and acquaintances to know about your special relationship.
Not everyone understands the nature of casual sex relations, and in order to avoid any detriment to your current and future relations, it is best to keep these people at a safe distance from your secret sex life. If your sex friend does not understand the need for discretion in your relationship, she is not someone with whom you should continue an ongoing casual sex relationship.
Also not to be overlooked in your special friendship is the issue of satisfaction. Sex friends can be fairly selfish people – in life, and in bed. The “no responsibilities” approach to casual sex does have one underlying exception however, and that is mutual sexual satisfaction. A sex friendship is one that must go both ways.
There is no need to pull out all the stops, i.e. your best moves and maneuvers in bed, but you better be prepared ensure that she enjoys the benefits of your friendship as much as you do, at least some of the time. It is, after all, a relationship based on both of your interests in physical gratification.
Finally, your sexual friendship must involve respect. Not the kind of respect you owe to your mother or the love of your life, but the level of respect that real friends show to each other. Again, this means communicating with your friend, recognizing timing within the relationship, maintaining a safe and healthy distance, and ensuring a relationship based on mutual satisfaction. If you respect her from the start and throughout the relationship, there is a good chance this friendship will last.
Remember to keep your casual sex relationship truths in the vault, even though you might be dying to tell your buddies about it at poker night. Your special sex friend can be sustained as long as you follow the rules, and you are both in a position to share sex with each other.
When the “special” side of the relationship finally ceases, you will be lucky enough to have a buddy in your life that you shared fun times with in the past. Well, that is unless your new lover finds out about the sexy friendship you shared for so long! So shhh… it’s best to keep that bsf (best sex friend) relationship a secret forever.