Men who find themselves on both ends of the size spectrum when it comes to their penises have unique challenges in bed with new lovers. With any new partner, you’ll need to figure out what works best with her body and with what you’ve got below the belt. Being a good lover starts with knowing how to use your equipment, knowing how to use hers, and showing your partner that you have confidence and desire to please her.
The small side of average
Boys anxiously monitor the growth of their penis throughout their pubescent years, comparing the size of their penises to the size of other guys in the change room, often measuring or charting their progress. This is normal. Your penis length, shape, and girth are unique. Just like every vagina you see is different, as will every penis your lover has seen be different. You have no way of knowing whether your penis is bigger or smaller, fatter or slimmer than your lover’s previous experience, so the best bet is to go into a new sexual relationship armed with the tools that every man should have: a working knowledge of female erogenous zones and how to access them with your equipment. No one likes a one-trick pony.
The most unappealing quality in a lover is one who is selfish and uninterested in pleasing their lover. For women, sexual pleasure involves many different aspects of her body. Foreplay is important to arouse a woman and make her feel desirable. It gives her the message that her pleasure is worth your effort. Before getting to sexual positions that enhance your natural gifts, I would like to emphasize manual and oral dexterity are much sought-after skills in a lover.
Like men, women have many erogenous zones outside of the genital area, so find out where your lady’s are. I had a friend who could come just from having a man play with her nipples, and another who could be driven out of her mind by a man caressing, tickling and rubbing her back, with his hands, mouth and penis. You have no idea what quirks your new lover has unless you ask, or go looking for yourself.
A woman’s vagina is a glorious invention. It can stretch and contract to almost unbelievable extremes. Women’s vaginas also come in varying sizes, however. If she is having problems feeling the full girth of your penis, she can go Kegel exercises in order to train her vaginal muscles to contract more tightly. Some women also use Ben Wa balls (small, marble-sized metal balls, usually hollow and containing a small weight that rolls around inside of them) inserted in the vagina to strengthen the PC muscle that tightens the vagina (for better grip and for heightened orgasm).
The average woman’s vagina is about 3 1/2 to 4 inches deep when “at rest.” When aroused, the vagina expands, but it will tighten itself around whatever is inserted. In order to get your partner’s vagina to contract, before you insert your penis, insert one or two fingers in her vagina. Not only can you tease the extra-sensitive first third of the vagina (the controversial G-spot, for those women who are aroused by it, is stimulated by rubbing against the front wall of the front third of the vagina), the vagina will automatically contract to “fit” around your finger. When you insert your penis, it will already have contracted and your penis could feel larger in comparison.
Once you have penetrated, try sexual positions which bring your pelvis as close as possible to her vagina. One example is holding her body perpendicular to your own. This can be accomplished in many ways. She can sit astride you, leaning backward so that her hands are on the bed between your knees. If you let your knees fall open instead of pressing them together, you will get a deeper thrust. Another position to try is with you standing up, and her perched on the edge of a desk, dresser, couch arm, or, for extra vibes, on the edge of the washer on the spin cycle (you will probably need a stack of laundry to stand on top of unless you are unusually tall). Have her lay back so that you are driving straight into her.
Many positions can be modified for her pleasure by adjusting the position of her legs (this helps if she is flexible). With her legs open to the sides, her vagina is stretching from side-to-side. You will get a tighter fit if her vagina is stretching from front-to-back. This can accomplished by pressing her knees together. If she is on top, get her to squat so that her knees are together and the only contact between you is your penis and her vagina. This is a big workout for her, and chances are that her thighs will start burning fairly quickly, but it’s great while it lasts. Another option to stretch her vagina front-to-back is with you on top. Have her rest her ankles on your shoulders and try to get as deep inside her as possible.
Another way to stimulate each other is to lay on top of her. This works very well if she has large outer labia and is very wet. Slide your penis between her labia, pressing in against her with your hand so that it is rubbing back and forth across her clitoris. This will be incredibly stimulating for both of you.
If you are into toys, you can get small vibrators that you can insert in her at the same time as you insert your penis. This will give you an unbelievable sensation throughout your penis and testicles if it is something you are comfortable with. There are also small capsule-sized vibrating “eggs” that you can use on her clitoris and nipples during intercourse if you get so excited that you cannot concentrate on massaging her clit while you are inside her. This also feels great on your perineum, which is the area between your scrotum and your anus.
Speaking of the anus, the area of penetration where many women would agree you have a distinct advantage is in anal sex, especially if it is something your female partner wants to try out for the first time. While many women are curious about anal intercourse and have heard some of their friends rave about it, it is such a sensitive region of the body that many are reluctant to have a penis banging around back there. Your lover will probably be much more apt to venture into some anal play knowing it will be more gentle with you (if that kind of thing strikes your fancy!).
There are so many ways to blow a woman’s mind during sex, and most women that I know are not only looking for size, they’re looking for a sexually skilled lover who can take care of their entire body. So why not try to give them everything they’ve been searching for?