It’s easy to find hundreds, if not thousands of different sex toys with a click of your mouse. For every type of toy, there are dozens of makes and models made by just as many different companies. For a more experienced sex toy user, it’s a dream come true.
But for a sex toy novice, the sheer variety of different toys can be overwhelming. If you’ve never purchased one before, it’s difficult to determine where to begin. It’s not just the act of purchasing the toy – what style? Model? What price? But where should you buy it, anyway?
Thankfully, with the popularity of the Internet, there’s no need to go browsing through the local sex shop (unless you’re comfortable with that). In fact, shopping – or just browsing – from home can be a sexy and fun experience for you and your lover to share.
Before you buy, the first thing you should do is discuss what you’re looking for. While it can be fun to surprise her with a toy to spice up your evenings, you’ll be running the risk of picking up something that she may not want or be comfortable with. If you are dead set on surprising her, use her sexual preferences as a way to gauge what sort of toy she might like. If she loves penetration, a dildo might be preferable. If she’s more clitorally stimulated, a vibrator is the obvious choice. However, embarking on the adventure together allows you to decide as a pair what toys will most benefit your relationship.
One item that appeals to many newcomers but comes with its share of pitfalls is the sex toy kit. Billed as the “something for everyone” for those not accustomed to using toys in bed, these kits usually come with a range of products including dildos, vibrators, anal plugs, penis rings, and more. The advantage to buying a kit is the opportunity to try out sex toys, buffet style. Since the kits are usually reasonably inexpensive, you’re not going to break your wallet finding out what you really enjoy.
However, if you’ve been eagerly anticipating the arrival of your kit for the steamy weekend vacation you’re planning, you might be in for disappointment. As the saying goes, “You get what you pay for,” and paying $40 for a set of 8 toys won’t guarantee much in the way of quality. You might also find that you’re paying for a number of inferior products, some of which you may never use. Beware of kits with a lot of “gadgetry” – various dildo sleeves, for example, or a number of different penis rings. If you’re trying these things for the first time, one is probably enough. There’s nothing wrong with buying a kit in order to experiment with different options – just don’t bank on it for quality.
Assuming you and your girlfriend are both open to the idea of buying sex toys, discuss your own sexual preferences before you take out your credit card. There may be things that you or she have been interested in trying, but have previously been too shy to bring up.
A safe toy to purchase for a newcomer is a good old fashioned dildo. The benefits of dildos are twofold: pleasure for her – assuming she enjoys penetration – and pleasure for you in watching your own private show. Even if you’ve been sexually active for a while, it can allow her the option of experimenting with how fast and how deep she likes to be penetrated. Since the control is in her hands – literally – she may find that she enjoys different sensations than she previously thought.
Whether or not you buy a vibrating dildo is up to the both of you. You’ll typically pay more for this feature – however, there aren’t as many nerve endings in the vaginal canal, so it’s not certain that she’ll have added pleasure. If she has an extremely sensitive clitoris, a dildo that vibrates quickly can be used for stimulation, but the lower-range vibrating dildos aren’t generally geared towards this purpose.
Another easy option for her is a vibrator – this is a device used externally to vibrate against the clitoris. These come in all shapes and sizes, and in all price ranges. This is a toy that you, or she, can use to stimulate her during sex or foreplay.
Sex toys for men that are fun for both of you during sex are a little harder to come by (no pun intended). For starters, you might want to consider a penis ring, which can help you stay erect for a longer period of time (just don’t leave them on for too long!) or an anal plug. Don’t be afraid of anal play during sex – as you may know already, many men appreciate the sensation of anal penetration, particularly when the prostate is stimulated.
An important thing to do, and one that’s only become possible over the last 10 years or so, is reading customer reviews online. While the idea of reading about someone else’s intimate experiences can make some a little uncomfortable, it’s the best way to get an honest description of what the product is really like. Don’t be too trusting of the one-paragraph descriptions accompanying every sex toy, and be cautious of “testimonials” that are printed alongside these toys. These are often techniques used to sell the products. Your best bet is to look for websites that allow customers to insert their own comments about their experience with the products.
Finally, when it comes to buying the toy, don’t feel that you have to go into a sex shop to get the best look at your potential purchase. There are tons of websites that feature different categories of sex toys. Browse through a few of them to see what’s out there, and what interests you.
One last word to the wise – be sure to read the fine print. Dildos, for example, come in all shapes and sizes – don’t be afraid to get out a ruler and see what you’re really buying. The last thing you want is to buy a toy that’s uncomfortably large or, on the flip side, too small to be satisfying. Reading all the specifications of the toys you buy will ensure all your surprises are pleasant ones.