Ever meet a sexy looking girl who dresses in next to nothing only to find out later that evening that, in reality, she is timid, shy and prudish in bed? Alternately, ever hung out with a modest and straight up librarian-type who turns into a crazed sex maniac when the lights go off? Gauging the signs of women’s sexual comfort is one of the most difficult aspects of dating.
Yet the question that haunts every man alive – Will she be willing to take her clothes off for me? – demands that women are comfortable with their sexuality. When you meet a woman, is it ever possible to gauge her sexual comfort level and figure out if she is really interested in getting down and dirty? The good news is that there are several tell tale signs about women’s sexual comfort levels – you only need to know how to read them.
Before we get into reading women’s signs, it is important to understand what “sexual comfort” really means. Basically, it comes down to a woman’s respect for her body and her body self image. Every woman has a different perception of herself and her body. More importantly, women have a very different kind of body image than men, mostly due to the fact that they are sexually objectified at a higher level in society. The factors that contribute to women’s sexual comfort and body image are influenced by family and relationship history, and often a range of other factors. So how can you put your finger on what her sexual comfort level may be?
There are 5 criteria that you must consider when it comes to gauging a woman’s sexual comfort level: her capacity for trust; her energy and demeanor; the authenticity of her attitude; the initiative she exhibits; and her confidence in herself.
Most men should know by now that the true path to a woman’s heart, and usually her bed, involves trust. A woman has to be able to trust a man in order to feel physically and sexually comfortable around him. The key here is that some women are far more inclined to trust men than others.
You can find out more about a woman’s capacity for trust and sexual comfort by asking her a few simple questions about her past and present relationships. For example, how did her last relationship end, or how close is she with friends and lovers from her past? If she has had positive experiences with men and relationships in the past, she will likely be more open to those in the future. Trust and openness directly relate to women’s comfort with themselves, their bodies and with the men they chose to share themselves with.
Another key factor to consider when you are trying to gauge a woman’s comfort level is her energy and demeanor. These attributes can be fairly difficult to predict – the key is to try to tap into a woman’s true character and personality as best you can. For example, a woman may exhibit tons of sexual energy at a dance club or party where is loud music and a big crowd, but one-on-one she may be far more subtle and less flamboyant. It will likely take a few dates before you can really know one way or the other.
Your best bet is to expose yourself to various types of environments when you are with her. Also pay attention to her body language and physical demeanor. Does she fidget all the time, fiddle with her hair or clothes, or seem uncomfortable sitting and sharing a quiet conversation or intimate moment? Or does she hold seem comfortable with her presence and casually and naturally touch her body? Chances are, a woman with a more steady energy and natural demeanor will be more comfortable with herself sexually, and therefore more likely to be comfortable and open with you.
Gauging how real and authentic a woman is can also be a very important sign of her sexual comfort. An authentic woman will be interested in more than just your clothes, your car, your money or your circle of friends. If she is really interested in you – mentally, physically and sexually – and just as attracted to you as you are to her, she will likely try to introduce a high level of comfort into your sexual encounters. Alternately, if she is just along for the “ride” her bedroom personality will be different than her everyday one. Men can be attracted to women with a variety of different attitudes, the key is to determine if hers is authentic enough to translate into a high sexual comfort level, and an open attitude towards you and your interests in the bed.
Another important sign of how a woman will act when it comes to the end of the evening is the level of initiative she exhibits. A woman who makes an effort to pursue the things that she wants, will likely be more eager to please herself and others when it comes to sex. Generally, if she takes initiative in life, she will take initiative in bed, and this may work out wonderfully for you.
Finally, and most importantly, a woman’s confidence determines her sexual comfort level. An insecure woman will look to you to make her comfortable, and sometimes this is more effort than it is worth. Confidence in a woman is probably the most telling sign of a woman’s comfort level. But be warned, this is not the type of confidence that leads women to dress in revealing clothing (or lack thereof), or the type of false security that leads a drunken woman to pick up strangers at a bar.
A confident woman will inspire confidence in you, and that is the real difference that you must take note of. She will act and communicate in a way that she is comfortable with, and in a way that makes others feel good around her. So pay attention to all the signs that women exhibit, but just remember that anyone of them might become a different person behind the bedroom door.
If you are lucky, your sex kitten date will deliver all that she offers, but be prepared for the worst and always seek out women that you believe will have a high sexual comfort level. Your attention to these signs will pay off at the end of more evenings than you might ever expect.