The girl in the miniskirt and tube top stranded by her car on the side of the country road… The twin sisters with long blond hair sharing a lollipop on a park bench… The sexy hospital nurse giving you a long, slow, topless sponge bath… The cheerleaders at the basketball game who giggle at your every move…
Every man takes pleasure in sexual fantasy. But are these fantasies really good for your sex life in the end? Sexual fantasies are the natural product of your imagination. Sometimes they are encouraged by your surroundings or your habits of pleasure, and sometimes they are unpredictably original. At any rate, fantasies can be very personally satisfying and entertaining.
Whether you harbor the same sexual fantasy about the teenage girl next door as you did 5, 10 or 20 years ago, or you fantasize about doing the dancer you watched on stage last weekend – sexual fantasies are an adventure of the mind and body that are enjoyed by men (and women!) the world over.
However, there are circumstances that you must recognize where sexual fantasy can have a less than desirable impact on your sex life. For example, uncontrollable fantasies. It is important to keep sexual fantasies under control. In other words, make sure that you maintain a level of separation between your real life and your fantasy world.
Some men look for a real life woman to satisfy their fantasy ideal, and that is not always realistic. Say, for example, you have had always had a thing for tall redheads, and you continually seek after real woman to satisfy your ideal. In many cases, you are forced to settle for the next best thing – a tall brunette whose company you enjoy.
She, however, may dump and humiliate you based on your repeated requests for her to dye her hair, or your inability to perform with the lights on! The moral of the story is this – if you allow your sexual fantasies to control your life, you may be denying yourself a chance at a healthy relationship with a woman. Your skewed sense of reality, specifically sexual reality, may make women want to run for the hills.
Another problem with becoming fixated with your sexual fantasies is that you will never feel satisfied until they are fulfilled. If the nature of your personal fantasies is very unrealistic, never realizing them is a very real possibility. Ask yourself this – have you really ever heard of anyone getting with the sponge bath nurse? Or with the twins in the park, or the cheerleaders at the game? Unrealistic sexual fantasies are usually the product of two forces.
The first is a tendency to take in material of a sexual nature at an excessive rate. In other words – you watch too much porn, which causes you to mistake real interpersonal connections, whether sexual or not, in a distorted manner. The other unrealistic possibility is a product of male ego.
Locker room or water cooler stories of threesomes and other crazed sexual adventures may be completely fictional. However, the lifespan of a good sexual legend often outlives itself, and many people still hear stories about “the girls who went home with me and…” – you get the idea. It’s not wrong to believe in these great stories of sexual adventure; it may, however, be unrealistic to expect that they will happen to you.
You must remember that your sexual fantasies are also often a product of your imagination, which serve to get your blood pumping and your heart racing. You can enjoy having sexual fantasies without ever having to fulfill them. You can also keep you fantasies all to yourself, if you so desire. So even if the brunette you are with does not quite meet fantasy standards, you can still enjoy a healthy sex life. Alternately, you might meet a woman with some healthy fantasies of her own, who wants to share in your fantasies together. If you’re lucky, she may even own a red-haired wig!
The sharing of sexual fantasy increases the likelihood of achieving the ideal situation – even if you have to work a little to create it. However, with the right woman, at the right time, shared fantasies can be mind-blowing! For a woman to share her personal fantasies may be even more erotic than for a man to share his, as most people expect men to have secret sexual desires more than they do women.
Don’t be fooled, women are just as prone to fantasize about group sex or erotic situations as men are, but they tend to keep these ideas more to themselves. You might be surprised what fantasies you uncover, once the sexual flood gates are open…
So embrace your sexual fantasies and entertain them at your leisure, but always recognize what potential affect they may have on you sex life. Hold out for the dream, but don’t necessarily expect it to come true one day. In the end, sexual fantasies are never something that you should feel bad about, so don’t ever let a woman tell you that you are not entitled to them. You may be better off with your dreams of women that you can never have, than with a woman who turns your personal fantasies into a nightmare.
The great thing about fantasies is that they are completely under your control. If you can manage your sexual fantasies well, they will be more empowering and satisfying than any other adventure you may go on with your mind and body. If you secretly desire a cheerleader, nurse, or several of both – that’s okay. Nobody will ever know the difference.
That’s the thing about sexual fantasies, they can be your friend or foe, it’s entirely up to you. So make friends with your fantasies and they may be the best friend you’ll ever have. Share them with those you trust, and never stop allowing your imagination to wonder – you never know what positive results may come from a healthy sexual fantasy or two, or three, or four(some)…