You may think you have the greatest love life possible, but it can always get better. Most people are too embarrassed to talk openly to each other about their lovemaking, which means she might just be harboring a fantasy that she is too afraid to reveal out loud. We asked five women to tell us what they long for from their partner, but are either too shy or embarrassed to come right out and say. So keep reading if you want to learn a few secrets, and maybe a way or two to get your lover to ‘fess up’, so you can turn her fantasy into a reality.
Sherry – 29, dating sporadically, self-confessed romantic
“Although I am a bit of a prude when it comes to sex, I still like to imagine kinky stuff. The top of my list would be to do a role playing game with my boyfriend. My favorite one I want to try is the classic ‘hooker/john’ scenario. The problem is that it is so unlike me, that I would be way too embarrassed to bring it up.”
Sherry’s problem is the one we heard the most when we asked these ladies for help. (In fact we had to guarantee them anonymity before they would even agree to help us.) Sherry’s last few boyfriends all saw her as a respectable, decent, “take me home to your mother” kind of girl, which is why she would never dare to bring up her fantasy with her boyfriend. What Sherry doesn’t realize is that most guys would love it if their girlfriend wanted to try something like this, and it would probably be the best sex they ever had.
Lysa – 22, curious, has been dating the same guy for the last 4 years
“This is probably going to freak out a lot of your readers, but…I want to try out anal sex. I’m not a freak or anything; it’s just that I think if we did it right it would be awesome. I mean I’ve read all the horror stories about what can go wrong, and I still want to try it. But my boyfriend NEVER talks about it! All my girlfriends have said that every guy they’ve ever dated tried to slip it in the backdoor, so I am not sure what the problem is with my guy. Maybe he thinks I’m too ‘pure’ or something.”
Lysa is in one of those rare relationships where the guy hasn’t brought up the idea of anal sex first. Not all women are terrified of the prospect of having anal sex, so never bringing it up is a bad strategy. Again, a lot of women out there will be too embarrassed to broach the subject first, so you may want to bring home some anal beads the next time you are at the sex toy store.
Amber – 23, dating, loves all things electric
“Okay, here’s the thing. Before I started dating my boyfriend, I spent a lot of time alone. In my room. My bedroom – alone. Understand? I’m not a nun, and there are, like, so many cool little vibrators out there, that I have managed to amass quite a collection. I would LOVE to bring one of my buzzy little friends into the bed with us, but I’m worried he might think I am a slut or something. Or maybe he will think he’s not fully satisfying me, which he does…most of the time.”
Amber’s dilemma is a fairly common one. Let’s face it guys, it’s 2005. The odds are good that your girlfriend or wife has tried a vibrator, and may have a whole bedside drawer crammed with all sorts of battery powered latex toys. These can make great additions to your love life, and should not be seen as “competition” in the bedroom. Anything that heightens her pleasure will heighten your pleasure – get the picture?
Caitlin – 33, common-law relationship, likes to dream
“I am a total perv when it comes to sex. If my partner knew all the weird fantasies I dream up, he would be shocked. We do talk about sex and I would love to try out some of my ideas, but there is no way I am going to start that conversation. I drop hints every now and then, but he is oblivious to what I am really trying to say. I just wish he would just once tell me about some weird sex fantasy he has. If he ever does, I will do it. But then he has to start doing the things on my list!”
Caitlin’s problem shouldn’t be a problem, but it is one that plagues a lot of relationships – who should be the first one to bring up a delicate subject? Remember, women are more likely to feel “slutty” if they bring up some dark, dirty fantasy, which is why they stay silent. In Caitlin’s case, she is willing to talk about her desires, but she wants her partner to lead the discussion. So next time you are in bed with your favorite lady, don’t ask her if she has a fantasy she wants to share with you. Just dive right in and tell her one of yours, and then you can say – “Now it’s your turn.”
Angela – 19, only been with one guy, likes getting dirty
“Okay. This may sound totally weird, but I like it rough. I’ve been in sports my whole life, and I’m on a basketball scholarship right now. The guy I’m dating is, like, the sweetest guy I’ve ever gone out with. He is very gentle – a little too gentle. I mean, I like that he is so caring, but god, I wish he would spank me or something! Not every night has to be so special – you know? Sometimes I wish he would just rip my jeans off and fuck me on the coffee table, but he is way too reserved.”
Britney didn’t hold back much in her interview, but the frustration she feels is evident. This may be the era of equal rights, but every now and then your woman wants to know there is a man in the bedroom. Britney doesn’t want to be beaten up; she just wants a little rough play. There may be no delicate way to bring this up with your partner, but don’t be afraid to give her a light spanking every now and then. Rough play applied at the right time can make the experience extra special, and lead to whole new type of sex for you to explore.
We have to say “thanks” to the ladies that helped us with this article. And if you are thinking your lover might be harboring some secret fantasy, make sure you use some tact and decorum when you try and get it out of her. She might be too embarrassed to bring it up when asked point blank, so you may have to fess up to a fantasy of your own, or just take the initiative and start to try new things.