Visual erotica has been here for as long as humans have been around to author it. Sex and sexuality through the different periods of human society can be followed through how it has been represented in the visual arts of that period. From the erotic and ancient texts of the Kama Sutra and fertility statues from pagan cultures, to contemporary visual mediums such as streaming video and webcams. The visual arts have not only reflected what society deems as sexual and sensual, it, in a sense has dictated it. The sexual image in our culture has, in some ways, robbed us of our own ideas of what sexuality can be simply because of repetition and ubiquity. How often are our sexual role playing and fantasy lives dominated by stereotypical scenes duplicated from the adult material so easily available in our society?
The great thing about watching porn is that you get the full sensual experience: you get the pictures, sounds and, every now and again, the stories of seduction. But what are we robbing ourselves of in the meantime? If the vast range of sexual preferences, fetishes and predilections floating around the world tell us nothing, it is, first, that the human imagination can come up with some wild and weird fantasies; and second, that there are so many more reasons to get turned on than a stock blonde with freakish proportions and stock dialogue that is humorous at best.
But if you take one element away—the one we depend upon the most, the visuals—then perhaps the sounds of sex hold a great promise for sexual fulfillment that visual porn may not. We depend on our sight to give order and make sense of our lives. But what is fantasy and sexuality if it is not disordered and a little messy? And what are the odds when renting porn with your lover that you are going to find one that finds a way to fit both of your fantasies into the plot?
Some of the issues that many women have with adult material are political or, to them, moral issues. Another hang up is that little girls are taught that there are good girls and bad girls, and girls who admit they like porn do not fall immediately into the former category. So even if they like porn, they are afraid of what that says to you and to themselves about their character.
But what if you were to take out the visual aspect? What if you take out the part of porn that ordains what the fantasy has to be? We have all gotten off on listening to other people have sex at some point in our lives. It’s the same draw as phone sex. The thrill of it lies in your ability to close your eyes, unzip your pants and visualize the exact picture of what is going with only your imagination. You don’t need to know that the couple in the next hotel room whose headboard is about to come through your wall is a 52-year old married couple—they can be three girls pleasing one another while some lucky bastard watches on, if that’s what you want.
Many of you may have discovered that what is almost as hot is finding out that someone else heard you and your lover sweating it up in the sheets. It might get your mind to thinking, what do we sound like? What we we scream? In our image-obsessed culture, there is something liberating about not having to worry about what you look like, but hearing what you are doing, hearing what you sound like, that can be the true essence in many ways of what is going on in the throes of passion.
If you have ever thought about video taping yourself having sex and cannot quite convince your lover to go along with it, why don’t you check out audio recording? Part of the thrill of making a video has always been the danger of discovery—it getting popped into the VCR by mistake, or, if you are even more trusting, the digital file being accidentally accessed in the wrong company. Unfortunately, in the day and age when half of the sites on the Internet claim to be footage attained or posted without the unsuspecting participant knowing makes us all just a little leery of the medium. Sure everyone likes to think they’ll be together forever, but if things fall apart, what is to stop that video from being sold on the Internet or to one of thousands of amateur video retailers?
If you cannot convince your mate to star in her own amateur production, try working her up to an audio recording. Consider where this can lead your sex life. If your significant other is not into watching porn at all, a nice alternative for her might be introducing her to erotica on tape. One of the shortcomings of porn is that the attempted plot lines are so cheesy, many women would rather laugh their asses off than get down and dirty with you. Women have sex with their minds and, as you may have experienced, if the wrong image gets stuck in her head, the evening is over. But if you introduce her to erotica read in audio form, this may open up your sex life to a whole new era of fantasy. You can begin by reading erotica to her. If it turns her on, pick up a cd that you can listen to while you are pleasuring each other. From there, you can share stories of your fantasies, how the erotica does or does not fit into your sex life. This can open up a dialogue that may lead you down roads you never imagined.
The beauty of audio erotica is that you can have the feeling and fantasy of having a parallel sexual activity going on in the room with you without your lover feeling like she is being compared physically to the often unrealistic, sometimes even fantastical, actresses in the video. Fantasy is freedom, and what goes on in her head is going to be what she decides.
Taken one step further, you can take turns recording audio fantasies for each other. They can be narrated fantasies of what you would like to do with each other, they can be recordings of yourselves masturbating. Who hasn’t fantasized about witnessing a little solitary act of pleasure? You can also record yourselves having sex for your future listening pleasure. Imagine a symphony of orgasms surrounding you in your bedroom, or in your rec room with the surround sound.
The beauty of the audio recording is that you get all of the titillation of hearing the best parts of going at it, but you each close your eyes, and you can fantasize about whatever it is turns each of you on. You are not restricted to drawing pleasure out of a video that dictates what it is being depicted. If your fetish is bondage and you haven’t quite gotten up the courage to bring it up to your lover, your mind can be filled with duct tape, ropes, and satiny belts, and you are home free. This can even give you an opportunity to share these inner scenes. What better to get you ready for the next round than having her whisper in your ear every image that goes through her head as she listens to the slippery moans that surround you?
If you have specific scenarios in your minds that both of you enjoy, you can find not only erotica on cd and on the Internet, but you can also find the sounds of others having sex in themed series: bondage, gay, lesbian, and just about anything that the pornography world has come up with visually. If you have a fantasy or fetish that is a little more risqué, perhaps it would be less threatening to first listen to before you bring it into your bedroom as a visual that she won’t be able to get out of her head.
The beauty of audio sex recordings is that it frees both partners to not only have their own fantasies whirl and develop, but it gives them to opportunity to share these fantasies and to develop your language for talking dirty to each other. And, it is certainly more productive and more erotic to share the fantasies that already go on in in your minds than to try and find pre-scripted versions that fit.