The mere mention of her name incites feelings of bitterness inside you. Your resentment seems to be growing stronger towards her, rather than diminishing. You are at a loss for resolving this ongoing source of irritation in your life. You want revenge on your ex. No, make that – you need revenge on your ex.
There are dozens of reasons why relationships end – one person may get bored or anxious, another may succumb to sexual temptation. Similarly, everyone deals with break ups in different ways. It seems to be a universal truth, however, that cheating leads to unpleasant break ups and break downs of relationships. The result is two unhappy exs: the cheater; and the cheated upon. The cheater in the relationship is left with feelings of guilt and remorse, which nag on the conscience. The cheating may have ended the relationship prematurely or been a welcome relief to a long period of unhappiness. Regardless, the cheater almost always carries around some degree of guilt.
The cheated-upon’s break up experience is usually very different from the cheater’s. The cheated-upon are often left feeling confused, betrayed, disappointed and angry. It is safe to say that even the most level-headed and understanding of the cheated-upon carry around negative feelings towards their cheating ex. The solution for this bitterness? Sweet revenge.
Revenge can come in a variety of shapes and forms. Some may find satisfaction enough in a hot new hairdo and some freshly toned abs and pecks. However, the majority of the cheated-upon want a more impressive version of revenge, something that will do more than just make the ex jealous or sad. Revenge is about teaching the ex a lesson, rubbing their nose in it, reclaiming control and exacerbating their feelings of guilt and remorse. Sounds nasty doesn’t it?
Some might suggest that revenge is an unhealthy exercise. Rather not. Revenge can be a liberating experience, and is appropriately practiced by the victim of a selfish ex. Executed properly, revenge can provide the best means of recovery for a healing heart and ego. In order to be successful, the revengeful act or initiative must be fitting for the parties involved and the nature of the past relationship.
For example, take John. John “fell in love” (or was it lust?) with Jane at first sight. Their affair kicked off to a great start – she loved sex, he loved sex with her. After 5 months the passion remained strong, or so he believed, until she slipped a Dear John letter under his door during an alleged night out with her sister (also a hottie). The letter broke his heart. It said that she had met someone else, a man who could satisfy her better. John was numb and found comfort in beer, friends and strip shows over the following weeks. Then he had an epiphany: the only way to make himself feel better was to make her feel worse. So he plastered naked pictures of her all over the internet. Alas, he received little satisfaction from his efforts. The ex thought the pics were flattering and his friends commented for months about how hot she was.
How might John have better sought revenge on Jane? By finding someone who made him happy – an old friend, new friend or new lover – and celebrating that happiness wherever he went. This sounds cheesy, but some people believe that forgiveness brings happiness to a bitter soul. Those with a weak belief in this mantra (and a very embittered soul!) might suggest that John’s best revenge would have been sleeping with Jane’s hot sister.
If you are convinced that you should seek revenge on your ex, consider the following three approaches and choose your vengeful poison wisely…
The Scarlet Letter
Spread the word: your ex is a big, fat cheater. Tell anyone who will listen. Go online and spread the word on sites dedicated to tarnishing the lives of exs, like thepayback.com or outmyex.com. “Once a cheater, always a cheater”, or so most potential lovers will believe – that is, if she can find any who will trust her again. Once a woman has been branded a cheater, it may be hard for her to gain other’s trust and respect. Her cheating rep may filter into other areas of her life as well. She may lose the respect of her peers or colleagues who believe in the sanctity of their relationships.
This approach to revenge takes the scarlet letter to the next level. Making special deliveries involves using props to incite an emotional reaction from your ex. For example, you might use her favorite t-shirt that she left at your place for “clean up” of personal body fluid (oh ya, the spunky kind!), then gift wrap it and leave it on her doorstep. Alternately, you could cut up all the old photos of her and make a collage, attaching her face to dozens of naked fat women’s bodies. You could post your artwork online, or on the billboard at her favorite coffee shop. Use your imagination to come up with a personalized special delivery of sweet revenge, chances are – it will be an entertaining and invigorating experience!
Broken Heart – Back At ‘Ya!
Be warned: this approach involves taking revenge to extreme levels. You must be willing to make some personal sacrifice of morals in order to achieve proper execution. The most sure-fire way to break her heart, as she did yours… sleep with her best friend. If you want to remove yourself from the equation, send your best friend in to do the dirty work. He might tease then reject her, walk out on a dinner date (along with the bill), or leave her stranded at a trashy bar on the other side of town. The second best way to break her heart back: sabotage her new relationship. You could fill the new lover’s head with doubt and distrust, or use some “hired help” to lure him into cheating on her. This is the most challenging form of revenge that would require careful planning on your part. It is a tactic that will only be worth your time if you are somehow ensured of its success…
If you believe it will resolve some of the resentment you feel, make revenge your medicine. Just think carefully about how it will best be delivered. Served hot or cold, a dish of revenge will close the door on your ex and open it to your future – free of bitterness and revenge…