Don’t let the title of this article scare you off because we want to talk to you about a relatively new phenomenon: female to male anal sex. For year’s (some might say centuries) men have coerced, convinced, and charmed women into having anal sex, and now it seems like a lot of women want in on the action. Why?
Well, aside from the occasional dominatrix out there, most women want to do whatever they can to keep things fresh in the bedroom and to maximize their partner’s pleasure. The prostate gland – inconveniently located inside the rectum – can be manipulated for pleasure, which is where anal sex comes in.
This article will give you some tips and tricks to make this a painless, enjoyable experience, so read on if you are just a little curious.
What Is It?
Female to male anal sex does not necessarily mean full penetration by your partner with a vibrator or dildo – far from it. What it refers to is any time your partner involves your anus during sex. This can be anything from rubbing the area with a moist finger or tongue, to using a small vibrator or butt plug to stimulate the prostate gland. For those further along in their anal sex experiences, having their partner use a larger vibrator or dildo – and yes, even a strap-on – would be both desirable and enjoyable. But going the distance your first time out is probably not a good idea, so now we are going to look at how to get started so you can work your way up to full penetration, if you decide you want to go that far.
Where To Start?
1. Take It Slow!
The golden rule when venturing into any new sexual practice is to do it gradually. This will enhance the pleasure by creating desire, similar to the way in which foreplay works. Plus, a gradual approach will help you loosen up – literally and figuratively. Being tense in the bedroom is never good, and it has a secondary effect of causing an involuntarily tightening of the anus. While that might be the desired effect for some, for others this will make things uncomfortable, possibly painful. Plus, if you are already sexually aroused, then some activity around your anus will only enhance the experience, not hinder it.
2. Learn About The Anus!
The anal area is considered to be an erogenous zone for men, so you and your partner should get to know the zone before and while you proceed. Remember how long it took you to figure out where the clitoris was located? The same thing goes for the prostate gland and anal area. Not everyone is the same, so the two of you have to learn what area is the most sensitive and pleasurable for you, otherwise you won’t enjoy the experience.
3. The Erogenous Anus
Assuming you are taking things slowly, the key areas to focus on are:
- Perineum – this is the area of skin between the scrotum and the rectum. It is a pretty neutral space, as it does not require penetration to access. The prostate is located above the perineum, so it is usually a sensitive area for men. It can be rubbed with differing levels of pressure. Get her to stroke the area with increasing pressure while you are about to cum or during a blowjob
- The Anal Opening – this area is also very sensitive, and is another great starting point for her to try. Get her to apply some lubrication to her fingertips and then caress the opening during sex. As you grow more comfortable with her being there, she can slide a finger partway in during peak times of sexual activity.
- The Prostate Gland – this can be accessed from inside the anus, located above the perineum. By rubbing the wall of the anus with a finger or two, she can exert pressure on this gland. Some men can have orgasms from this stimulation alone, while others find it greatly enhances the regular penile orgasm.
4. Plugs, Vibrators, And Dildos
Many sex toys are made with the anus in mind, so when you are ready to try something out go to a sex store to see what is available. Start small. Butt plugs are small for a few reasons. First, the rectum bends sharply; so large objects might feel uncomfortable. Second, plugs and anal vibrators have flared bases for a reason – so they won’t get lodged in your ass. And don’t forget to by lots of lube!
5. The Right Position Makes It Better!
In the experimental stages, the position you are in won’t matter that much. However, as your progress with your experimenting, you will want to try out different positions that will open up the rectum as much as possible, so that you can be freer with the toys you use. Remember, the last thing you want is a painful experience. Try spooning at first, and then you might want to move to the more traditional ‘doggie style’.
Tips And Tricks
Keep it clean! If you are enjoying the experience, then make sure she enjoys it as well. Make sure you don’t need to go to the bathroom prior to starting, or she may end up with a nasty surprise on her hands – one that will keep her from your backdoor forever.
Lubrication is necessary! The anus does lubricate itself to some degree in order to have abowel movement. However, unlike the vagina, it will not lubricate itself nearly enough for sexual activity. Buy some good water-based lubrication from a sex shop, and avoid petroleum and oil based lubes.
Sharp nails can be lethal! Need we say more? She doesn’t like when you slide fingers in that have sharp nails, so you probably won’t like it either – unless she is very aware and careful of what she is doing.
Beware of bacteria! The anus can be a dirty place. Make sure she doesn’t move her finger into your mouth if it was just inside you stroking your prostate.
Final Thoughts
There is nothing wrong with experimenting in the bedroom, and having anal sex does not make you gay. In fact, if you show you are willing to try out new things, then your partner just might be more willing to have a little anal sex of her own. In any case, the key to a long and happy love life requires trying out new things. So if this ends up not being your thing, at least you now know that you are both willing and able to experiment, which might lead to that threesome you always wanted.